Crushed

The following may or may not be a work of fiction. Reader discretion is advised.

My first crush was a girl in my class, during my 11th standard. I had just changed my school from a boys-only to co-ed. There were a mere 10 girls out of a class of around 60 students. No wonder the skewed sex ratio acts as a deterrent for female education. I felt as if I was in love. I guess it was nothing more than initial attraction.

My way of trying to please her, was to solve some computer programmes and give her print-outs of the same. Yeah, pretty lame when you look back at it. Initially it was going fine, but then I stupidly took a picture of her during a tuition class. It was the era of the early camera mobile phones. Of course the news spread that I was ‘Line-marooing’ the girl, and she stopped talking to me hence. Post which I discovered a new emotion-Jealousy. Particularly when she spoke to other guys, and ignored me. It felt like hell at that time. Little did I know that this problem would strike at me again and again and again, to this day.

Entire class 12 was worse than hell. Not to add to the fact that I screwed up all my competitive exams. Enough said.
There was another girl I liked at school, though she was not in my section. We shared a common tuition too, and I become online friends with her. Even spoke to her on the phone, but never face to face. I still remember she had written a testimonial for me on Orkut (Yes, those were the days). I am still in touch with her, and she knows that I had a crush (albeit minor one) on her.

Coming back to Orkut, that was where I met my first online crush(Yes, I have had a few online crushes too), sometime around 2006-2007. She was an anime fan like I am. I was really charmed by her(even though I never met her). She was from a wealthy family, and she was also a gamer(I have known very few female gamers in my life). Plus she had roamed across all the major countries. Right now she is working with some Airlines company in the middle east. And she has a boyfriend. The last I interacted with her, was in 2012, via email. No word from her since.

My second major crush was during my first year of engineering. I was just beginning to settle into the realms of mediocrity, when I met this Bong girl from Kolkata. Apparently, she had interest in books and arts as well(I remember her saying that History was her favourite subject in school). And she was pretty decent in English(One thing which was seriously lacking in our college). So we kind of got well along together. She was also the first girl who used to respond to every single SMS of mine. That was the time when I got hooked on to smsing. I wasted a hell lot of time on it. There was another girl who I was close to(though she wasn’t my crush).Things were good for the first 8 months or so, after which I screwed up real bad and that was the end of our friendship. She too started ignoring me. Soon after, the other girl followed suit. That was a very tough phase for me. But I also realized that it was my fault in the first place. I made lot of wrong decisions, for which I am regretful. But then, you cant change the past. Whats done is done. You simply need to move on. And yeah, its much easier said than done. I learned that the hard way.

Then there was a girl in my college, who I thought I liked initially, but after hearing she was committed, I backed off. I never really liked her attitude, to be frank. But that was only for a short while. Then there were a few more online crushes which I would rather not talk about. Is it even possible to fall for a person without even meeting him or her?

Okay, the rest of my engineering life passed by pretty much crushless(apart from another failed situation in which I actually purchased a teddy bear for a girl, and later got to know she has a boyfriend). Even my interaction with the fairer sex dropped drastically. It was almost like back to the school days.
Fast forward to MBA. There was a girl who I had interacted with on facebook on gtalk after converting FMS. I started developing (online?) feelings for her. I wasn’t sure if she was committed or not(at least it wasn’t reflected on her facebook profile) and she was the one who had initiated conversation with me.
I met her soon enough, when I started my MBA. The initial period was a pretty busy one, and I was kind of disappointed that we were never together in any group task. I didn’t get much chance to speak to her either. And considering the fact that I am an introvert, it made my task all the more difficult. But was I even looking for a relationship? Or was it just time pass? Many a time I have felt that I was very serious about the commitment. Later on, I felt it was a mere infatuation in a passing by phase of life.

One day, I remember I got a chance to sit next to her. She opened her laptop, logged into facebook, and showed me a picture of her sitting with a guy in some café. Which was her boyfriend. Excellent. Are all the good girls already booked? Nevertheless, my crush lasted for a while. She was a fresher, around my age, and she had lot of enthusiasm and energy. Plus she was intelligent and eager to learn. An ideal MBA student I suppose. However, with time, the crush fizzled out, and I moved on. Later on, I even told her that I liked her. She took it in a very sporty way, I must add. Some other girl may have been seriously pissed off. Although of course there have been instances when she became angry with me, even towards the end of MBA(but that’s beyond the scope of this post). As of now, we are seldom in touch(I last spoke to her in April, 2013).

My second crush in MBA. For some reason, I would not like to talk about it here. But I am still in touch with her. And she does not know that I ever had a crush on her.

Onwards to my third crush. She was from another bschool, a co-intern in my office during my internship in Mumbai. She was a very sweet and good looking girl. Later on I came to know that she had done modelling in the past as well. I have never seen her being angry even once, in the course of two months. I remember having given her quite a few movies from my collection. Plus we performed together as the lead actors in a flash mob. She had this sweet, charming smile, and she would smile even if she was not in a good mood. We discussed lot of things together. Towards the end of our internship, both of us went for a lunch at a nearby café. That was one of the best lunches of my life. I met her once more, later, during my PPI. She has left the country to work, and I am not sure if I will ever meet her again. But am in touch with her over whatsapp. And she knows that I had a crush on her, and is pretty cool about it.

Now for my fourth and final crush of MBA(and life, so far). She is a punjabi and a proper Delhite. She is the only girl, I actually thought I could propose for marriage. Though of course I dropped the idea later on. I was very serious about this girl. We actually spent a lot of time together as well. And we spoke on the phone quite a bit too. I was hoping she would develop some feelings for me too. But that was not to be. She was more close with another guy, and would spend most of her time with him. I guess she loves him. I am not sure. I even bought a bracelet for her, and gave her few of my drawings for her birthday. We had a few arguments too. She was a very open minded girl, and one of the few I knew who would use slangs freely, even in front of boys. But she was also a teetotaller. I have spent the maximum amount of time chatting and on whatsapp with her. In fact sometimes she would be peeved about the fact that I would chat more and actually talk less.

I told her that I loved her, but I guess she never took it seriously and laughed it out. We spent lot of time together in CCD and Dominos. I considered her as a very close and sincere friend. But somehow I got the feeling that she was more interested in getting my assignments and my books/other academic stuff than in me. Maybe it was me, who was just acting stupid and naïve the whole time. I was in touch with her till a few days ago, when she actually told me to f**k off. Point taken.

I have never been in a relationship, but have experienced lot of crushes. For good or bad, they have certainly made me more mature over the years.

Done and Dusted With

I will try to make this my final post about my MBA life. The reason for that is that I want to get it done and dusted with. There were lots of ups and downs and lot of things which I would prefer to forget, and move on. In this post, I will try to give a brief summary of what I feel my MBA life was like.

To be frank, on hindsight, I feel that there were several things which I could have done, but did not. For example, being more pro-active in competitions. Not for the prize money, but for the experience. I did participate in quite a few, but I admit I never gave it my all. I never stayed awake till the wee hours of the night trying to solve a business case. Maybe out of laziness, or maybe because I just didn’t want to. And to give a brief comparison, I know quite a few of my batchmates who stayed awake nights to work on their presentations/excel sheets.

My other regret is that I didn’t network much. With corporates or people in other bschools. I haven’t even been to any IIM so far[Not even C, which is close to my hometown]. Again, maybe it was my lack of interest, or my lethargy.

My third major regret is that I didn’t involve myself into academics either. I didn’t do a single live project (almost every single batchmate of mine has done at least one), didn’t try to publish any paper, didn’t do any research, checked the central database only twice or so, didn’t read any good book [HR/Marketing], didn’t solve any business case, nor did I try to update myself with the latest business trends. Not to mention, my total apathy at studying for the semester exams[which I started just one week before the actual dates]. Not surprisingly, I ended up amongst the bottom 20 of the batch[amongst a batch size of 220 students].

I even flunked in a few Finance papers. This was one area where I could not force myself to study, even to pass. I disliked most of the theory classes, and did not take any initiatives to do something which could add value to my curriculum vitae. I even took my final project lightly.

But the worst part is that I failed to make friends[barring a handful]. Its not that I did not get along well with others. Its just that I never felt like trying to extend a hand of friendship or support. I never belonged to any group in college. Most of the time I was alone. I hated it, but made no attempts to change it.

Extra-curriculars went for a toss. I would just spend my free time watching anime/movies or lazing around at coffee shops. I don’t remember having done a single meaningful conversation with anyone on the topic of MBA/business.

Was everything so bad and negative about my MBA life? Of course not. There were some good moments too. But those were far and few in between. You may say that I am being pessimistic but I really do not have any ‘Ahaa’ moments to share from my MBA life. I did have a few crushes, but then again I failed to take any step in that regard. I honestly do not know what value add an MBA degree has done to me. How different am I now from the person I was before stepping into a bschool?

There were so many moments when I promised to myself that I would do meaningful things- Master MS Excel/Powerpoint, Learn Japanese, Buy a telescope, join an Astronomy club, go for sight-seeing in different cities in the north[I couldn’t even visit Agra, forget other cities], make friends and go out to have fun, network with other DU students, participate in various events, and I could go on and on. The list of things I planned to do, and failed to execute. And failed to learn from my mistakes. After that I just lost my inspiration to do anything.

Of course, I would prefer to leave the negativity behind me, now that I have entered corporate. I wish I could find myself a permanent source of inspiration. But right now, am in a much better state of mind than I was during MBA. I can actually afford to relax after a hard days work. And that constant nagging at the back of my mind is gone. But somewhere, something is still missing. And I still keep procrastinating on certain issues. I have to learn to back my plans with proper actions, else they will be redundant. And I have to learn to step out of my comfort zone, another thing I am not really good at.

Lets have hope. It’s a good thing to have really. That, and some decent PS-3 games. I have purchased GTA-5, and Batman Arkham Origins releases soon. So much for distractions.

What is Love?

Abstract:





She was sitting just one row ahead of me. I could see her back clearly. She was wearing a purple top. Her hair was neatly tied back, and held by a black clip. She had one hand on the desk and the other clutched her brown leather bag. She was listening attentively to whatever the professor was saying. And I was watching attentively to whatever she was doing. I had eyes only for her and nothing else. Somewhere I could hear the voice of a koyel, and vividly the sound made by fluttering leaves as the wind blew by. But it was all distant. There were 20 other students inside the classroom, but I pretended as if they did not exist.

She was wearing a golden bracelet on her right hand, and had a silver watch on the left. Sometimes when she turned, I could catch glimpses of her face. It was pure natural beauty, with minimal make-up, just the sort of features I preferred. She was wearing short diamond ear-rings, with a subtle hole carved in them. The radiance of the ear-rings enhanced the brightness of her looks. Her looks displayed confidence, intelligence, and maturity. She had a spark in her, a glow which I could feel but could not describe. I had talked with her yesterday for the first time. At first I was hesitant, but I soon discovered that she was amiable and honest. She asked me about me background, my interests, my career plans. I inquired about hers. She smiled. I looked, but could not speak. My tongue would not move.

Today, she had wished me Good Morning as she entered the classroom. I mumbled something in reciprocation, but I could feel my face turning red. I lowered my gaze, unable to do anything more. 1 hour had passed since that moment. Yet I could not take my eyes off her. She removed her hair-clip, tied the hair back again[though it was quite un-necessary] and put the clip back on. I followed every hand movement of hers. Her eyes illustrated curiosity, interest, passion. But they also hinted at loneliness. Her hair basked under the sunlight, reflecting it straight at my eyes, forcing me to blink. I felt as if she needed company. Maybe the guy sitting next to her felt the same, as he touched her arm and made a funny comment[I am guessing it was funny, even though I could not hear it, as she started laughing after hearing it]. I felt a sudden twinge of jealousy. But for what? I didn’t even know her well enough.

It was evening. All the classes had ended. She was walking towards the exit. This was it. Do or die. I almost ran in order to keep up with her. I hope she did not notice that I was almost out of breath. She smiled again, and I started examining her face once more. Was I being rude? I did not know. ‘Well then, bye. Will catch up with you again later,’ she said and smiled at me.

‘I do not know if we will ever meet again but yes all the best for the future.’
She stared, apparently a bit surprised at my sudden comment. I turned and started walking. I did not look back.

I was in love.





Note: The above short story is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely co-incidental and entirely un-intentional.

Relationships, Trust and Betrayal

*Continued From Previous Post


The hardest thing in the world is not to get entry into an IIT or IIM, but to control one’s emotions. Especially the negative emotions. Its not possible for any living being to get rid of them, but they can definitely be subdued by staying optimistic, thinking and acting positively, and doing scrupulous deeds. Keep yourself in company of optimistic people, who are ready to work for a noble cause, and who believe that there is NO shortcut for success. I guess you must have an idea of why relationships break. Moreover, in recent times, we see that the youth [especially the guys] are not really looking for love and caring. They are looking for trophies [which they euphemistically call girlfriends] that they can display for others to see, and which can satisfy their lust. Of course there are exceptions, but they are far and few in between. They have no shame in changing their trophies when they feel the current one is rusted. In fact, the more they get the better for them. This is their lugubrious mentality.

Most girls look for their ‘Prince in Shining armor’ who will love them and care for them forever. Their weakness is that they are too trusting. Even Count Dracula can come in a ‘Prince Armor’ and pretend to be an Angel[read Ideal Partner]. And it’s quite likely that the girl may fall for such a trick. The real trouble comes when the girl gets exposed to the actual reality. Unfortunately most of the time, she will blatantly refuse to believe that her ‘Prince’ [in reality Dracula] can do any salacious or immoral activity. She will blindly continue to trust him[refusing the advice of others], till he actually dumps her. After that, she will be shocked. ‘How could this happen? He could not have done something like this.’ If only she had opened her eyes sooner, none of this would have happened. Most of the suicides in India happen due to failed love, apart from failed examinations of course.



Okay, so now that you know why relationships break so often, what’s the remedy? Do we stop trusting everyone, isolate ourselves and live alone till we die of loneliness? Obviously not. Just don’t trust anyone and everyone. Try to know a person properly before you give your heart out to him/her. But the Golden Rule is –‘Never take anything[or anyone] for granted.’ That person may be your partner now, but he/she may not be with you tomorrow. Do don’t be over-dependent on anyone. Do not blindly trust others. This does not mean that you don’t love others. Share as much love as you can, but at the same time, be prepared mentally and emotionally for any scenario. If you believe something such as-‘She loves me so much, that she can never leave me no matter what happens’, then you are only living in a Fool’s paradise. People change, and there is nothing you can do about it.

If you are ready to face any situation, it will add on to your advantage. First of all, you will not be shocked if someone betrays you. Definitely it will hurt in the beginning, but you will learn to move ahead with your life. Always remember that life is not about a few individuals alone. The most important step is Forgiveness- it will help you feel better and move on. Do NOT hold grudges against anyone, even if that person has betrayed you for no apparent reason [I know its very much easier said than done, but trust me its worth it]. Do not keep thinking about your past-the broken relations which cannot be mended. Discussing your problems with friends [genuine ones obviously] will always make you feel better. Moreover, remember that it’s just NOT possible to please everyone. There will always be some people who will complain about and criticize your actions and pass lewd comments. These are the people best ignored.

Keep yourself busy with work. It really helps. An Empty Mind is Indeed a Devil’s workshop. If you keep yourself occupied, it’s quite likely you wont keep thinking about your broken relationships. Aim to be altruistic. I find this principle to be quite effective-‘If the problem is only affecting me, then it’s not a problem worth looking at.’ Of course its not true, you should not ignore your problems. But considering that you are just one individual in this world of nearly 7 billion people, your problem [especially if it’s just affecting you] can’t be all that serious, can it?

Finally, you may have a question similar to this one- ‘I did whatever you mentioned. I loved her, gave her everything I could, treated her kindly, with care, gave her loads of gifts, took her to movies, blah blah blah, Yet she still left me. Why did she betray me?’
Alas, as I said earlier, there is no specific answer. Remember that you do not necessarily have to do something Wrong for someone[he/she could have been very close to you] to betray you or leave you. It’s just the subtle intricacies of the human mind, mysterious and inexplicable. You cannot force anyone[neither should you] to do things according to your wish. Similarly you can’t force them to stay with you forever, or love you incessantly.

Thanks a lot for going through this mammoth post. Do share your views and thoughts about this sensitive issue.

Why did I get betrayed by the person whom I trusted the Most?

So am back again. This time with an uncanny topic- Relationships and betrayals. Am quite sure that most of you must have been in a relationship with someone. Let me clarify that by relationships, I mean the ones between couples or close friends. [Am not considering parent-child,brother-sister,etc relationships in this post] Even if you are single, you must be having [at least a few] close friends on whom you can rely upon at all times. But it’s also quite likely that you have witnessed some gruesome betrayals as well, and they are even more vicarious when they are carried out by the ones whom you trust the most.

You may be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. How could he/she do it to me? I trusted him/her with my life. How could she leave me for another fool who doesn’t even care for her? Why did he do that to me, when I did everything for him? All this and many more questions may be swirling in your mind, demanding answers but getting no replies. So why do people betray us, and how can we deal with such emotions? Why do relationships break? I will try to answer a few such arcane questions with my own personal beliefs.

Okay you have been through a betrayal which has shattered you. First and foremost, do NOT keep blaming the person who did so. Remember the Gospel Truth- Human Beings are Not Gods- they make mistakes and they do things which they should not. Else no-one can explain the growth of crime in contemporary times. Plus there is another thing you should know- Humans are sadistic[Almost all of them]-Believe it. We love hurting others, it makes us feel good[You need proof, go ask any college student what the word ‘ragging’ means]. Plus today pointing fingers at others won’t help, you will just get more fingers pointed at you tomorrow.

Thinking that you cannot hurt or betray anyone is another fallacious thought. You[in fact every human] is capable of betraying, hurting and even killing another, depending on the situation. In fact, there is nothing more complicated than the functioning of the human mind. Its one of those few things Science cannot[at least not yet] fully explain. But know this much, if provoked even a reticent person is capable of genocide. Okay, let us leave the concept of murder for the time being. We were discussing betrayals were we not? So why should our best friend, whom we trusted, betray us? There is no conspicuous answer for this one. There can be many reasons. And it varies according to gender. Females are much more likely to keep quiet about their grievances and later vent out all their frustration at one go. Guys like instant solutions for their problems, even those which need long term investment. Moreover, a girl is much more likely to initiate a break-up than a guy. If betrayed, she is very likely to break all contacts with him. The situation is usually the reverse for males. A guy is not likely to accept a betrayal, and in many cases, will seek revenge. Even if he forgives the girl, he will still not want to break contact. He is more eager to search for a new partner to satisfy his lust. And he usually cannot tolerate ignorance.



Recently, I saw an episode of Crime Patrol, where a Navy Officer shot dead his girlfriend just because she wanted to break-up with him. That too, she had a genuine reason for doing so, since he was already married and had kept that secret hidden from her. He could not bear the ignominy of being rejected, so he took such an extreme step. Did he really love her? Of course not, you do not gun down the persons you love, unless you are mentally retarded or something. He just wanted to possess the hapless girl, so that he could satisfy all his nefarious desires.

So as you can see, there may be innumerable reasons for a person to betray you, irrespective of the fact that he/she is your best friend. The same logic applies to you. You may think that you are the nicest person in the world, but you can still commit crimes as serious as those committed by dictators. Personally, I myself have betrayed and have been betrayed by others. Some people may not desire your company any longer, so they choose to go on their own path. Some people may be frustrated by your behavior but refuse to tell that to you. Others may simply find someone better to replace you [as a couple or best friend], so they ‘move on’.

Jealousy can also be a apposite reason. Say you and are friend are both preparing for a competitive exam say[simplest example]. Say both of you were equally intelligent and equally hard-working in all respects. Yet, for some reason your friend gets into a Top Institute, and you do not. What will you feel? Admiration for your friend? Less likely. Jealousy and envy, that he got it and you did not? Yup, that rings a bell! In that case, it’s very much possible that you distance yourself from him, declaring him to be a subtle villain who is egocentric and does not care about his friends. But is that truly the case? Obviously not, it’s just your negative thoughts playing games with your emotions.


* To be Concluded in the Next post.

Short Story: The Conversation Part 2

Nikita decided to go forward with the discussion.

‘So what do you do? Work somewhere?’

‘Yeah, I am a Financial Analyst,’ came the terse reply.

‘Erm, what does a Finance whatever do??’

‘A financial analyst or investment analyst is a person who performs financial analysis for external or internal clients as a core part of the job. Basically we study details about companies and arrive at an estimate of their financial values.’

‘Uh, whatever that all sounds like Greek to me. Do you have any hobby as such?’

‘Loads of them. But if I have to choose one, it will be reading.’

‘Reading? As in books?’

‘Yes. But apart from that I also like reading people.’

‘What the… How can you read people? You mean like reading minds? Are you a psychopath?’

‘I think you mean telepath, and not psychopath. Anyways I do not possess any supernatural powers. I just like analyzing people and their behavior.’

‘Such as? Analyze me and tell me what you find.’

‘I have done so already. You are sad, angry, frustrated by the fact that you were dumped and also flabbergasted at my apparent lack of interest in you.’

Nikita stood still akin a statue. She was clearly impressed by Rajesh astuteness.

‘Why do you speak so bluntly and abruptly? It sounds rude. Why can’t you add more emotions to your sentences and be a bit more amiable?’

‘Sorry if I sound that way, but this is the way I am. No pretense. I guess I will go outside for some air.’

Saying this Rajesh got up. It was at that moment that Nikita noticed that he was wearing a gold necklace. Apparently it had missed her attention previously.

‘Why are you wearing such a girly necklace anyways?’ inquired Nikita in a greasy tone.

‘Oh just like that. Wanted to try out something different.’

‘Why don’t you try out the new men’s fairness cream that has hit the market?’ Nikita smiled impishly.

‘It wont suit my skin,’ for the first time Rajesh smiled and left the compartment.

He returned after a few minutes.

‘I apologize for earlier. I guess you must be feeling bad after the break-up and all,’ Rajesh began.

‘Bad? I feel horrible. I can’t tell you how I feel right now. But thanks for asking,’ replied Nikita.

‘No problem. But I am sure you will get over it,’ smiled Rajesh. ‘By the way, I will be getting off at the next stop. Change of plan.’

‘That was sudden. Have to meet someone somewhere?’

‘Sort of. I guess you should let go of the past. It will only hurt you more if you continue thinking about him.’

‘I don’t know if I can. I loved him a lot, you know? There was hardly a moment I spent away from him. We used to exchange dozens of smses each day, would take over the phone hours on end, chat on Gtalk whole day long…’

‘Yeah, the usual stuff. All couples say the same thing,’ blurted Rajesh in a sarcastic tone.

‘Excuse me; you don’t know anything about us. It’s very important to stay connected for a relationship to prosper.’

‘Yes, but why on the phone or the internet. Is it not better to go for a walk or for a dinner party say once every week? Time management is crucial. You should not mollycoddle your partner beyond the critical point.’

‘Rubbish. You need to profess your love continuously in order to attract your partner’s attention. Else he may think you are ignoring him.’

‘Isn’t that what most girls resort to? Ignoring their boyfriends when they are morose?’

‘That’s enough. You are acting like a male chauvinist. I will not have any more of your nonsense. You do not have any idea on sustaining a relationship.’

‘Nice words, from someone who could not even sustain her own.’

Nikita felt as if a lightning bolt had hit her. She had no comment to refute Rajesh’s statement. But at the same time she did not want to admit it. Tears sprang up in her eyes once more.

‘I guess I will be leaving now. My destination has almost arrived,’ saying this Rajesh got up from his seat and started moving towards the door.

‘You can never understand the pain of being left alone. You never had a partner, you can never know what I went through,’ Nikita sobbed.

Rajesh turned towards her and spoke.

‘On the contrary, yes, I did have a girlfriend. We were very close. Would probably have been married by now if things had gone right.’

‘Things had gone right? What do you mean? Did she dump you as well? You deserved it.’

‘Not really. She’s dead. Was killed by a mobster last month. Apparently that guy had a fascination for this gold necklace which I had given her.’

Saying this Rajesh left the compartment.

The Big Fat(Rather Obese) Indian Wedding.

Warning: It is plausible that certain individuals may not like the comments I will make in this article, which deals with marriage. If you are a conservative person who considers marriage very sacred, then it is advised that you do not go through this article.

I would like to start off by saying that whatever I am writing in this article is my personal view, and not a general opinion of people.

Marriages are made in heaven. Would you agree? Heaven or hell, does it make a difference? In all possibility the environment post marriage will resemble both heavenly and hell-like situations. So what is the purpose of marriage? Is it to unite two souls(don’t take me too literally) so that they can live together for the rest of their life? So that they can raise children and live a happy life? So that they can create a bond of love and compassion? Or is it simply to fulfill their parents and society’s wishes?

First of all, psychologically every human being needs a partner to lead a happy and satisfactory life. This is also to satisfy their mental and physical desires. The concept of marriage was started thousands of years ago, and it gained prominence in India, more than in any other country. Marriage is still considered a sacred ritual of ever lasting commitment. People spend lavishly and exorbitantly during marriages. They invite all their relatives and friends, and celebrate the event quite pompously. But over the years, the original purpose of marriage is dwindling and losing its effect. Rarely do people marry for love or satisfaction. In fact love marriages are still frowned upon by many.




A father will consider his duty to get his son or daughter married, preferably in a well to do family. But is he really doing so for the child’s welfare? Not always. In many cases the child is married off forcibly, someplace which makes him/her uncomfortable. No wonder 1 out of every 5 marriage ends up in a divorce. Plus as per the orthodox customs related to marriage, the religion, caste, etc is checked and matched before the wedding date is decided. I do not believe in astrology, and I don’t understand why religion and caste should matter in marriage. Obviously, if a Muslim girl cannot adjust with a Hindu boy, that’s understandable. But that’s rarely the case, and it is seen that most Indians prefer to marry within their own community [same religion, caste, status, etc]. If two persons can remain happy, staying with one another, religion should not act as an impediment.

Next, we come to the opulent spending during marriages. The event is un-necessarily given too much importance, wasting excessive time in celebrations. We like to disrupt the entire traffic to make way for our marriage procession, including the boisterous band-wallahs. Then of course comes the actual wedding party. Nobody is really interested in either the bride or groom [Though of course they love to criticize their physical features- ‘Look, he is so short and fat. She has a bent nose and dark complexion’] but they scamper to the food stalls as soon as they set their eyes upon them. In earlier times, the dinner consisted of simple, typical Indian food. Nowadays, you can choose amongst Indian, Chinese, European cuisine along with a host of items from Veg to Non-Veg. You can stuff yourself as much as you want, though you should make an appointment with your doctor previously. There are many people who simply go to the parties for the food, and nothing else. And with so many people turning up[a single family can have over 500 relatives from across the globe], nobody gives a damn about anyone or what is actually happening. The poor groom and his bride have to sit in one position and endure the entire travesty that’s going on.

Why do we need so many customs and rituals for a simple process? Why can’t two individuals take vows in silence and then live together in peace? In such a scenario, court marriages serve a better purpose.

As I have said before, I myself do not believe in marriage. I also don’t think I can spend my entire life with one person. And I find nothing wrong with people living together without marrying. If they love each other, what’s the harm? In India, people consider having children without marriage to be a blasphemous and an iniquitous act. Whereas it is a normal practice in the US. Thus marriage becomes a pre-requisite for having children, which is another reason why it is considered to be so important here. Anybody who dares to raise his/her voice by protesting against marriage is often ostracized or even made an outcast. And we have heard of so many crimes[Like murder of the groom] resulting due to marriages which take place between members of two different religions, castes, or even separate villages.

My ideal scenario would be- If two persons like each other, they can stay with each other, love each other, and sleep with each other, without any external interference whatsoever. Whether they want to marry or not, should be left to them, and not their parents or relatives or society members or anyone else. Maybe then, the soaring divorce cases and marriage related crimes will reduce.