The Final Tribute, Part 1 (FMS- Batch of 2012 and 2013)

All right, so am finally done with MBA. And it is really a sad fact, that this is just my third post of the year. Of course, I can take the help of various excuses- Placements, Exams, Work, etc, but I guess I just somehow lost the inspiration to write. But a proper ‘All I wanted to say about MBA’ type post is pending. In this post however, I shall be expressing my gratitude to all those people who made a positive contribution during my life and stay at FMS. It is said that in business, MBA and corporate, you don’t make friends, but only acquaintances, competitors and colleagues. How much of it was true for me?

Statutory Note: Though am mentioning the names of mostly a few people, but am indeed thankful to all FMSites and professors who I have met and known.
Lets start with the senior batch:

Batch of 2012:

I would like to thank Arpan Srivastava, for being an ideal Gsec, and helping us throughout the journey. Thankfully, we are still in touch. The entire placement team, all the society members, thank you for helping us in our ‘Summers’ prep. I would like to thank my mentor Rima for all her support she lent me, without which I am pretty sure I would have done a miserable job. Manmeet Singh Hora, for being a great support, especially with tying of turbans, spirituality, guidance and being a great person overall. Satyajit Bagchi and all the executive members of HR Society, for being supportive throughout.

Apart from the above a few more names to take: Saurabh Jyot Singh, who grows younger with each passing day, Chitrang, for being an excellent Mark Soc President, Ranjeet Pratap Singh, for his famous anecdotes. I admit that I did not make much of an effort to interact with the senior batch, on my side, which on hindsight was probably a mistake. Nevertheless, it was a good experience knowing a few talented people.

Now let us come to the batch, with whom I spent the maximum amount of time.

Batch of 2013:

Undoubtedly the first name which will come here is that of Abhirup Debray, the guy who stood behind me at all times, through good times and bad. Although we are polar opposites( he loves drinking and cursing), am still proud to have him as a friend. He has made it a long way, coming from a small town, and has always inspired me to go ahead and do well. Having known him even before joining FMS, it was a pleasure spending time with him. He is one person who will never bore or disappoint you. I hope you make it even bigger, buddy.

Next(do not take it in any hierarchical order, the names are just on random basis) to come is Mayank Rajput, another guy(from Gwalior) who I knew before joining FMS. He is a dreamer with a good sense of imagination. Creative, writes well, reads a lot, and a manga/anime fan(lot of traits similar to mine). Wants to be a big writer. I know he will succeed. A bit lazy yes, and it takes lot of effort to push him to work, but once he is committed to something, he will make sure that he does it. Nevertheless, sleeping is his biggest weakness. Stay in touch, dude.

Now we come to one of the biggest ghissus in our batch. Divya G, as we know her. A telugu by birth, but a proper Indian by choice(having travelled and stayed at multiple locations). Yet another person I knew before coming to FMS. She is very dedicated, hard working, focused and intelligent too. Once she sets her target on something, she will achieve it. She was always a big inspiration for me, and was always there when I needed her for emotional support, academic help, or for anything. And like me, a very strict follower of her principles. I only wish she wasn’t so short tempered, and so fudgy about marks. Nevertheless, a close friend for life, I wish you all the very best for the future in Cadbury and otherwise, Divya.

Lets head a bit west now, shall we. The city of Mumbai. Famous for Vada Pao. And Sheetal Kasbekar. She is one person I consider as close as a real sister can be. Never let me feel alone whenever I was depressed or frustrated. Very caring, very kind and passionate. Has that bubbly charm in her, like that of a school girl. Loves to eat a lot. And has a golden smile. But takes lot of tension at every small thing. Panics more than I do. But nevertheless, a very smart professional and marketing expert who will surely rock at Nestle. And help me in getting directions when I roam around in Mumbai.

Lets go back to the south(don’t worry, am not doing any regional discrimination here). Or we can even go to the north east, in Guwahati. This IITian from the south is an introvert, but still a brilliant guy. Karthik Junnuri or junnu as his friends call him, has a mixture of talents. But his best trait is that he will always be ready to help you, even if he has his own problems or tasks to perform. He is one guy I have hanged around with a lot. He makes you feel comfortable, and he really knows lot of stuff, even though he does not talk much, and has a soft voice. Miles to go, buddy.

Next comes another traveler, who has been at multiple places. Preethi Puram, the Media Secretary. Its actually hard trying to describe her in words. But she has been a great friend, an amazing person to chill and hang out with. She loves taking initiatives and doing fun stuff. Has supported me a lot, and is extremely trustworthy. You know you can share lot of stuff with her, in spite of her being in Media. I hope you keep rocking in ITC.


For some other quick names, I would like to thank Raveesh Mayya(most versatile and altruistic person in batch of 2013 without a doubt), Shashank Prabhu(very mature, calm and skillful), Tasneem Ahmad(for being a great support in HR Soc and otherwise), Vikram Kapany(Awesome Inspirational Figure), Akhil Kumar Som(Fearless and determined) Sunny Gajjar,Neha Kapoor, Snata Borah, Tapish Panwar, Vishal Sharma, Amandeep, Chandan Mandal, Priti Kumari, Tina Singh, Suhail Pawaskar, Ankit Kumar, Shashank Arya, Ashraf, Ankush Bhadrish, Nikhil Nathani, Richie Pandey, Ajay V, Aditya James, and a lot more. I am sorry if I missed out on anybody.

*To be Continued

A Broken Dream, a Random Soul

Dear Diary,

I am writing this to you, cause honestly, I don’t know who else to say this to. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t that I do not have any friend or someone I can speak to. Its just that I don’t feel like sharing this with anyone. I am not sure anyone will understand either. Maybe they will think that I am just a weak person who cant deal with his own problems. Who knows, they may be right.

Sometimes, I cry to myself. May not shed tears all the time, but it is still equivalent to crying. Why do I do so, you ask? I don’t know. Or rather, I don’t know from where to begin. Maybe it has all to do with running rat races, trying to do what the society expects out of you, what your parents, friends and peers expect you to do.

I feel I am at the wrong place. With the wrong crowd. Amidst a wrong setting, and about to depart into a wrong environment. This is NOT what I wanted to do. Hence, I could never really like this place. Oh, yes, made a few friends here and there. Some of them are probably genuinely concerned about me too. But I guess I have not been a good friend to anyone. I have tons of work to do, but somehow I feel just too sad to do anything at all.

In fact, I do not belong to any group out here. I am always alone, lonely, and mostly in despair or frustration. There is no single reason for this. I know that I am an introvert. It takes me time to open up to people, and I rarely talk about myself or my feelings to anyone. Its all business and other urgent matters that people want to discuss. Somehow, I never felt like doing so. Was I wrong? Maybe. Maybe I should have been more active, more social. But I guess facebook and whatsapp took over my social life. I became a virtual identity that’s all. Maybe my true self has been lost over time.

Some people have a very high opinion of me. That I am some superb individual, a fantastic writer, and an honest, passionate, helpful person. Then there are others who consider me to be a quiet, unsocial and selfish guy. Everyone is judgmental, and everyone forms his or her opinions about everything. In spite of having so many benefits, I am still not happy. Far from it. Worse, I have no clue what to do in the future.

I have got lot of advice too, mostly from well wishers. Watch movies, listen to calm music, exercise, meditate, go for walks, read books, play games, etc. I have tried them all. And yet, this deep, never ending, storm of negative emotions simply refuses to die down.

I feel that negative emotions have overwhelmed me, to the extent that I stay insanely depressed most of the time. I feel neglected, deprived, ignored, forgotten. I feel like escapist, wanting to run away desperately, but without a clue of my destination. I have started complaining about anything and everything. I feel that nobody understands me. However, the logical part of my mind says its just the reverse. There is no point blaming others. The problem is in me, and ONLY I can solve it. God helps those who help themselves right? But how do I help myself? Nevertheless, I am still an emotional wreck. And this is also not all.

I really like her a lot, Diary. In fact, I love her. Every single second spend with her is like a magical fantasy, like a fairy tale come true. Every single ping or message of hers lits my face with joy. But I do not have the guts to tell it to her. What if she likes someone else? What if she stops talking to me? Will I be able to bear that? Why am I so afraid? And why do I feel so jealous whenever I see her talking and spending time with other guys? I keep feeling miserable every day for no reason. With this pain and gash in my heart. What do I do? I am confused. I have started finding faults in every single little thing. I have almost broken up with my first love- reading. I think I am going mad, and if I don’t do something soon, I will completely break down.

Thank you for being patient and hearing me out, diary. Alas, I have to stop for now. Cause this rat race will never end. And I do not want to inflict any pain on others. But more often than not, I end up hurting or disappointing those I love. Then, at the end of it all, I ask the same question which has been asked for centuries- ‘What is the purpose of my existence? And do I actually deserve to exist at all?’

Yours faithfully,
A broken soul

What If....

'I think I love her,' I told PP.

'You think or you actually do?' she asked.

'I do. Am sure of it. I have thought about it a lot for the past two months. In fact, this is the only thing I have ever given so much thought to. '

'Hmmmm,' came the reply. 'Tab kis baat ka wait kar raha hai. Jaake bata de usko.'

'I..cant.'

'Huh. Why?'

'Cause...she may not understand. I mean we are very good friends, and she may not like it.'

'What are you saying man, cant get you.'

'We have been friends for a while, and I am scared that if I propose to her, she might get pissed off at me, and then start ignoring me or something. In worst case she might break all contacts with me.'

'If she is really your friend, why would she do something like that? '

'Cause girls are like that na. They prefer to ignore, as they know it causes the guy lot of pain.'

'Rubbish, dont make sexist comments like that. All girls are not like that. '

'I dunno yaar. I do like her a lot, but i guess I do not have the guts to tell her that I actually love her. I dont want to risk it at the cost of this friendship.'

'You have to decide man. Whether to take a risk or not. But if you keep waiting and hesitating, she will surely find someone else. '

'Noo, I cant let that happen. I cant even tolerate the thought of her being with another guy. Its just preposterous.'

'Then go ahead and say it. You must not repent later that you lost the chance. Besides she might like you as well. You never know'

' I dunno, man I really dunno. Am like totally confused. And the worst part is that I cannot really concentrate on anything else. Studies, work, nothing. '

'Whats so hard in expressing your feelings anyways?'

'I dunno. I normally never talk about any of this stuff. Love, romance, it never made sense to me. But i know that I like her because she is a genuine person. Honest and righteous. Someone who sticks to her principles and morals, and someone who can stand for whats right.'

'Then what are you waiting for. She is the perfect girl for you. Go ahead and confess your feelings for her.'

'But, but..what if she likes someone else?'

'Listen, in that case there is nothing you can do about it. Remember that her decision will be hers. You cant change it or influence it in any way. She will do whats right for her, and you must accept it. But in any case, she will at least know the truth. Dont hide it from her. She deserves to know.'

'I guess you are right, PP. Thanks a lot, as usual. I know I can always depend on you for anything.'

'Stop acting like a loser and go for it. And stop pestering me all the while too. Learn to believe in yourself. Bye and best of luck.'

Lost in Time

Merry Xmas everyone[Yes, I know its belated]. And a Happy New Year in advance as well. I guess I will actually make a few resolutions this time, and try to stick to them, for a change. Am finally back home, after 6 months, and feeling relaxed after quite some time. Though the train journey was horrendous to say the least, with a delay of close to 20 hours, ,thanks to the fog and also a de-railment. I do not think the condition of Indian Railways will improve in my lifetime at least. And here I read another news of China flashing off 300 kmph trains over thousands of miles.

Anyways, enough of cribbing. After relishing some home made food, I met Maitreya, who is having a gala time in USA[okay, he might kill me for this], and borrowed a movie from him[Dictator]. Also saw Talaash along with him in a new theatre. The movie was below average, to say the least[Maitreya was cursing till the end, and even slept off in between].

Continuing to read lot of stuff[finished the Fountainhead and the Lost Symbol recently, the former is indeed a life changing book], including random blogs of people. Completed Hitman Absolution and Sleeping Dogs. Reading random stuff on Marketing, participating in random quizzes, sleeping, reading, eating, whatsapping, introspecting and reading some more. Its time to put the plans into motion.

MBA life is nearing its end now. Wont lie and say that I made a lot of friends, I did not. Indians should learn to be more explicit and not be diplomatic/apolitical all the time. Moreover, its also time to shed the ascribed society outlook, and give more emphasis on achievements for a change. Just because a person is from IIM A[no offense intended], doesn’t mean he is a super genius or another John Nash in the making. We keep tending to be in awe, just by hearing a person’s background or organization. I also admit that I did not make the most out of my MBA stay. I could have done many more things, but chose not to. Continued to be an introvert. Usually kept on my own. But still, tried to fulfill all my responsibilities.

I also believe that I am wasting lot of time online, either scrolling through useless stuff, or just on facebook/gtalk. I think I should actually go and have a life for a change[than being restricted online].

So what has been my impression of FMS so far? Maybe a proper post after I graduate, but yes, FMS has given me lot of opportunities which I otherwise would not have got. Am I happy? Yes. Am I satisfied with my current state? Hell No.
Guess I have a lot to change about myself. Signing off for the time being. See you all next year.

P.S.- Initially wanted to write a post like 2012- a Wonderful Year gone by, blah blah, but then, who cares really.

Some Bullet Points [in no order]: For the year Gone By

• Stayed in Mumbai for the first time[had visited it once earlier though], for my internship
• Got my first pay cheque
• Elected President of the HR Society, FMS Delhi
• Read tons of books and saw a hell lot of movies [useless point, agreed]
• Got used to Delhi traffic and the general public
• Learned to minimize expenses
• Laughed at the people who laughed at the so-called Doomsday Prophecy
• Made some new friends
• Fell for someone [yes, a crush]
• Got deeply frustrated/demoralized for a few times, and came out of it
• Suffered from several different health problems
• Became disillusioned and cut self off from the rest
• Failed in a subject [Financial Management]
• Got addicted to Whatsapp
• Handled a 4 year old kid and a 1.5 year old baby
• Completed Metal Gear Solid 3, and almost completed Final Fantasy 12
• Read the Fountainhead [finally, yeah]
• Performed in a Flash Mob [rather, several of them]
• Learned to accept what I am

Chilled Winter, Delhi Style..

‘I am happy’. Yes, I am happy. I feel content, blissful, grateful, for all that I have, and for all that I gained. Have been doing some trivial and yet meaningful things in the past few weeks or so. Cooking some random stuff[nothing great, just edible], reading a hell lot of books, played a couple of new games, and watched a ton of Bollywood movies[okay, if you don’t know me, I am a person who almost always sticks to Hollywood, considering the string of flops produced in Bollywood], such as Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, Rang de Basanti, Udaan, English Vinglish, Oh My God, Mirchi, Ladies vs Ricky Bahl, amongst others. Am not sure why this sudden fascination for Bollywood.

Have cut down a bit on junk food, and trying to go the healthy way[minimized consumption of soft drinks and chips, have to cut down on chocolate now]. Am trying my best to be optimistic in every circumstance. Working in HR Society is a great experience. Working with other people is also a learning curve. But I feel I have been a bit lazy, considering the fact that I haven’t explored much of Delhi in recent times. And neither could I manage to make even one trip to some other town or city[whereas almost all my batchmates have gone hiking, trekking, swimming, in all sort of locations]. Sometimes, being a loner hurts. But I have learnt to accept it as a part of life. Not being in any group has both pros and cons.

I know that I have considerably cut down on writing. Mostly because, whenever I open MS Word with the intention of penning down an article, I often turn up with a blank. What to write next? Which topic? And so on. Nevertheless, writing is one thing which I don’t plan on giving up,ever.

I have also perfected the art of listening. Indians are known to be cantankerous speakers, but few actually try to listen out to things. Everyone is just bursting out to give his or her own opinion, without any regard for viewpoints of others. In this matter, I can listen out to people and I do try to put myself into their shoes, before taking any further decision.

There is an interesting OB[Organizational Behavior] course which I have taken this semester, called Counseling Skills for Managers. Surprisingly, the number of people in this course is close to 70, but most have just taken it in order to relax from the competitive environment of finance and marketing. However, I find it extremely interesting. The teacher is very good with her methodology, and even conducts psychological games in class. Have already witnessed some of the theories made by Freud and Jung, and now am seriously regretting the fact as to why I didn’t opt for Psychology or Philosophy at Undergrad level. I would have loved to be a psychologist. Oh, well, enough cribbing. One important lesson I got from a class, is that its important not to be judgmental about others. However, this is a near impossible task. We immediately form opinions about people we meet and interact with. We label them as smart, attractive, intelligent, rude, uncouth, lazy, etc. In most cases, we don’t even bother finding out the facts.

Then there is another Course called Brand Management, which I find interesting. Coupled with Consumer Behavior[previous semester], its pertinent to say that in many cases, Marketing is about creating the right perception in the mind of the customers. Once you start perceiving a product as good, the sales will automatically catch up[assuming lot of other conditions too, nevertheless]. Marketers have borrowed a lot from psychology as well. Professor Harsh Verma is one of the best faculty members FMS has.

Placement season is arriving, and I need to prepare for it. What exactly do I prepare anyways? Apart from some generic stuff. Anyways, I guess it’s important to build your content, and then know yourself well, and project it too.

Of late, am reading a lot of magazines as well. The Economist, HBR, Fortune India, Frontline, Businessworld, etc. A decent way of passing time and building knowledge at the same time. The people who don’t read are missing a lot in life.

And yes, I didn’t get a PPO from Tata Motors, so it’s the end of a nice journey and association with the company. Will have lot of fond memories to last a lifetime. But as of now, its time to concentrate on the future, and also act upon some of my goals/plans. Will be visiting home next week. Eager to meet a few friends, especially Maitreya and Girish.
Rest later, Merry Christmas in advance, to all.

Are Indians bigger Sadists than the rest?

Semester exams are on, I have a tough paper to handle(Financial Management, never understood any Finance anyways), have the Fountainhead on my side(Yes, I still haven’t read it, you can mock me now), and spent the most banal Diwali ever[how? By sitting alone in my room and reading stuff). Nevertheless, I have finally(and hopefully) decided to write down a serious article(seems like ages).

Are Indians more sadistic than others? The answer to this is ‘I don’t know’. I do not have any exposure of any foreign country, and my knowledge is entirely based on whatever stuff which I have[which isn’t much], in spite of having a very meaningful course in this semester- Cross Cultural and Global Management. However, if you ask me,personally, I would be inclined to say yes.

Maybe, some of you will just nod your heads and move on, and some will be appalled and some will disagree ruthlessly. Feel free to accept or disagree with my view points. But I shall try to give some examples.

Let us start from two of the most popular Indian festivals. Diwali to begin with. Celebrated in India since a long long time. Mythological reason is return of Lord Rama from Vanvasya. Originally intended to be a festival of light, and triumph of good over evil. Presently reduced to a festival of noise and debauchery. Of course people love exploding crackers. What’s wrong about it you may ask? It’s a time to celebrate with your friends and family, right? Well, for starters, it exponentially increases the amount of air and sound pollution, affecting lot of people with breathing problems and mostly the elderly, or the very young. And there have been several instances of injuries being caused due to mishandling of fireworks. In certain cases, it even leads to death. Is it justified then, even if few cases of deaths are reported every year, to continue using fireworks? What if I just want to do something meaningful, but am unable to do anything over and above the loud noise, and I risk burning myself by just stepping out of my house.

But I have seen numerous people who take pleasure in sending a rocket flying into a neighbours house or exploding bombs on areas where they know elderly people stay. And surprisingly, many people consider it as normal, acceptable behavior.

Lets come to Holi then, another festival which is celebrated with much gust and pomp. Enjoyed by millions of people. Terrifies millions too. Especially women, who feel a high risk of their modesty being violated. Some of them lock themselves in their rooms, others try to avoid any contact. I have personally seen people turn into actual hooligans on this day, when normal criminal acts become perfectly legal, and even the police decide to become mute spectators. Throwing colors, grease, egg yolk, cow dung, cement, and what not, on others, under the pretext of Holi. Perfectly acceptable- ‘Bura na maano, Holi hai’ (Don’t feel bad, its Holi after all).

This was about festivals. What about organizations and behavior in general. Arent we a collectivist society? Supposed to care and encourage one another. Well, we are, partially. When it comes to taking credit, everyone comes forward to get his or her due of the pie and share. And when it comes to accepting responsibility for failure or defeat, everyone suddenly points a finger at everyone else. I have rarely even seen one Indian owning up his mistake, or accepting the fact that he was wrong. It’s always somebody else who gets the blame. Not just that, we simply enjoy and make merry whenever someone else loses and take exceptional delight in the fact. But when it’s our turn to taste defeat, we simply cannot fathom the fact that others are enjoying it. In India, its power,money and status that is valued more than anything else. You need to dominate and surpass above everyone else to succeed. This feeling is inculcated in us from childhood itself, where we are forced to compete, first in studies, then to get into a good educational institute, then a job, and then fight for position/status.

I could give several other examples. Being an ascribed society, we continue to think of ourselves superior to others, based on factors such as caste, religion, background, hierarchy, status, our educational qualification, etc rather than to compete on merit. As a result, conflicts keep on occurring.

For now, I will go back to Hofstede’s framework and stimulus generalization[MBA terms of course]. I could have written a longer article, but time constraints and pure laziness says otherwise.

Closing Down

Okay, I admit it. I have been thinking of closing down my blog now. Maybe because I do not get the time to write as freely as I used to,or maybe cause I just lost inspiration sometime down the way. Nevertheless, here is one more post.

Things I have been doing lately:

Books:
• The Interpretation of Dreams, by Sigmund Freud. Borrowed by Chirag Jain[batchmate].
• The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand. Borrowed by Aparajita Puri [junior].
• Life of Pi, by Yann Martel[completed]- Borrowed by Mayank.

Anime:
• Sword Art Online: A new anime I started not too long ago. Its pretty good, based on a MMORPG. Has got good reviews.
• One Piece: Started on insistence by Mayank. This anime must have something in it to be that popular
• Fairy Tail: Re-started watching after a gap of almost 3-4 months, I guess
• Naruto Shippuden: Considering the fillers have arrived, I guess it’s a hiatus for this one now

Games:
None, thinking of starting with Elders Scroll Skyrim again

Series:
Game of Thrones: Pretty good one. Based on the Song of Fire and Ice series by G.R.R. Martin

Thoughts:

Well, the summers for the batch of 2014 is done with, and they have performed pretty good as expected. The Latest business today rankings give FMS the 3rd slot. Anyways, lets leave MBA for a while.
I do not get to have many meaningful discussions nowadays. Find it extremely hard to find people who think somewhat similarly as I do, or someone who can think of the larger picture. And the reason to blame, is once again, our great education system. Which teaches the students to kill their creativity, impedes their imagination, and just focuses on rote learning. As a result, most people just have a short term and narrow minded outlook towards things. Even in college, people just tend to think about marks, assignment submissions, and the like, rather than think about learning and adding value to their personality. Often, I inadvertently happen to overhear conversations which are mostly meaningless or pure gossip. Disappointing mostly. Even within MBA, a person becomes so short sighted, that he or she almost totally looses track of things which may not be directly related to his/her domain or specialization. Indians still regard thinking as a waste of time, and disagreeing with the teacher’s viewpoint is considered an act of blasphemy. And then we ask- Why doesn’t India produce any Steve Jobs? Why doesn’t India produce any organization or institution capable of leaving a mark across the world?