Why did I get betrayed by the person whom I trusted the Most?

So am back again. This time with an uncanny topic- Relationships and betrayals. Am quite sure that most of you must have been in a relationship with someone. Let me clarify that by relationships, I mean the ones between couples or close friends. [Am not considering parent-child,brother-sister,etc relationships in this post] Even if you are single, you must be having [at least a few] close friends on whom you can rely upon at all times. But it’s also quite likely that you have witnessed some gruesome betrayals as well, and they are even more vicarious when they are carried out by the ones whom you trust the most.

You may be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. How could he/she do it to me? I trusted him/her with my life. How could she leave me for another fool who doesn’t even care for her? Why did he do that to me, when I did everything for him? All this and many more questions may be swirling in your mind, demanding answers but getting no replies. So why do people betray us, and how can we deal with such emotions? Why do relationships break? I will try to answer a few such arcane questions with my own personal beliefs.

Okay you have been through a betrayal which has shattered you. First and foremost, do NOT keep blaming the person who did so. Remember the Gospel Truth- Human Beings are Not Gods- they make mistakes and they do things which they should not. Else no-one can explain the growth of crime in contemporary times. Plus there is another thing you should know- Humans are sadistic[Almost all of them]-Believe it. We love hurting others, it makes us feel good[You need proof, go ask any college student what the word ‘ragging’ means]. Plus today pointing fingers at others won’t help, you will just get more fingers pointed at you tomorrow.

Thinking that you cannot hurt or betray anyone is another fallacious thought. You[in fact every human] is capable of betraying, hurting and even killing another, depending on the situation. In fact, there is nothing more complicated than the functioning of the human mind. Its one of those few things Science cannot[at least not yet] fully explain. But know this much, if provoked even a reticent person is capable of genocide. Okay, let us leave the concept of murder for the time being. We were discussing betrayals were we not? So why should our best friend, whom we trusted, betray us? There is no conspicuous answer for this one. There can be many reasons. And it varies according to gender. Females are much more likely to keep quiet about their grievances and later vent out all their frustration at one go. Guys like instant solutions for their problems, even those which need long term investment. Moreover, a girl is much more likely to initiate a break-up than a guy. If betrayed, she is very likely to break all contacts with him. The situation is usually the reverse for males. A guy is not likely to accept a betrayal, and in many cases, will seek revenge. Even if he forgives the girl, he will still not want to break contact. He is more eager to search for a new partner to satisfy his lust. And he usually cannot tolerate ignorance.



Recently, I saw an episode of Crime Patrol, where a Navy Officer shot dead his girlfriend just because she wanted to break-up with him. That too, she had a genuine reason for doing so, since he was already married and had kept that secret hidden from her. He could not bear the ignominy of being rejected, so he took such an extreme step. Did he really love her? Of course not, you do not gun down the persons you love, unless you are mentally retarded or something. He just wanted to possess the hapless girl, so that he could satisfy all his nefarious desires.

So as you can see, there may be innumerable reasons for a person to betray you, irrespective of the fact that he/she is your best friend. The same logic applies to you. You may think that you are the nicest person in the world, but you can still commit crimes as serious as those committed by dictators. Personally, I myself have betrayed and have been betrayed by others. Some people may not desire your company any longer, so they choose to go on their own path. Some people may be frustrated by your behavior but refuse to tell that to you. Others may simply find someone better to replace you [as a couple or best friend], so they ‘move on’.

Jealousy can also be a apposite reason. Say you and are friend are both preparing for a competitive exam say[simplest example]. Say both of you were equally intelligent and equally hard-working in all respects. Yet, for some reason your friend gets into a Top Institute, and you do not. What will you feel? Admiration for your friend? Less likely. Jealousy and envy, that he got it and you did not? Yup, that rings a bell! In that case, it’s very much possible that you distance yourself from him, declaring him to be a subtle villain who is egocentric and does not care about his friends. But is that truly the case? Obviously not, it’s just your negative thoughts playing games with your emotions.


* To be Concluded in the Next post.