Sunday, September 26, 2010

Why Me?

Why me? I can bet that you have at least once in your lifetime uttered those two words. Isnt it? Personally, I have done so dozens of times. The question is usually asked to God, though sometimes it can be asked to our friends, or maybe even ourselves. And in almost all cases, we ask that question when something tragic happens to us.

Your girlfriend ditched you recently. You could not believe it[or still cant]. You went into a state of shock. You were the best guy for her, you were confident about that. You did everything you could to please her, you both her innumerable gifts, yet that ungrateful creature left you. ‘Why me?’, you ask in a sorrow tone.

You are struck with a deadly disease, dengue, cholera, cancer, etc. You were perfectly fit earlier, and used to exercise daily and follow a healthy diet. Then why did you catch such a disease? ‘Why me?’, you sob as you lie in your bed. ‘What did I do wrong, God? What did I do to deserve this misery? Look at my friend. He has a beautiful girlfriend and a wonderful physique. Why then am I lying in the bed with no one by my side?’

You are participating in a race. ‘This is your golden chance to prove that you are the best’, you say to yourself. You struggle to reach the finish line. Out of nowhere your competitor nudges past you and snatches victory. Worse, you come in Fourth position. The guy who overtook you smiles as he gets the medal, and you are left snarling with fury, restless and out of breath. ‘Why me, damn it? How come I don’t win anything even after keeping the lead for most part of the race?’

CAT results are declared. Furiously you open the website, and enter your roll number. Your heart is in your throat. Your fingers are trembling. And finally you get the message on the screen-‘Your percentile is 98.97. You have not got any calls from any IIMs[Not Verbatim obviously]’ Immediately you feel as if someone has stabbed you in the heart[or in the throat since your heart is stuck there].
Instantly you call up your friend to tell him your score. ‘Oh, that’s good he says. I have got calls from IIM A,B,C,……’ Talk about disappointment. You bang your head on the desk in frustration and remark-‘Why me? I prepared so hard for this for 2 years, and I still didn’t make it, whereas my friend hardly ever studied but got a better score.’

Do the above 4 examples sound familiar to events which may have occurred in your life? You can take countless other instances when you are forced to question yourself- ‘Why me? Why not someone else? What did I do wrong?’ But have you ever tried to find the answer? Most probably not. If you ask me, the answer is simple enough- IT ISNT JUST YOU. It happens to everyone. The thing is, you are probably too occupied with your personal life to notice it. We get envious of others when we see them happy, enjoying and having fun. We feel that our life is full of misery and they have everything. That’s a farfetched thought. Rather the truth is that you are possibly pessimistic and that person is optimistic.

Bad things happen to everyone, good and bad alike [and NO, they do NOT happen to Good people only, as is widely claimed]. It’s our attitude which defines how we deal with tragedies and come out of them. You have two options- cry and moan over the misfortunes that befell you, or accept the reality, move forward, and work harder to come out of the crisis. But the unfortunate thing is that Most humans do not deal with pleasure and pain alike. We welcome good things/events with open arms and enjoy as long as the day is bright. The moment something bad happens, ,we start complaining and crying that things are never right with us. Have we ever taken a moment to thank God for all that He has given us, instead of lambasting Him when problems surround us? When a famous sportsperson was asked- ‘Isnt it unfortunate that you have got cancer? Don’t you ask yourself- Why Me?’ To which the guy replied-‘No I don’t. When I won the World Championship and lifted the Trophy high in the air, did I at that time ask God- Why Me? Why not someone else?’ Those were the words of a true champion. When we get good things, do we ever question God/or to ourselves-‘Why me? What did I do to deserve this happiness?’ No we don’t. We simply take it for granted. The questioning starts when we land in trouble.

Coming back to those 4 examples, did those 4 guys ask the same question when : i) The guy was enjoying with his girlfriend ii)The person was healthy iii) The guy won a race in the past iv) Why did I get a higher score than 98.97 percent of the people? No, they did not.

I believe in the principle of Yin and Yang, Equivalent Exchange[made popular by the highly renowned anime cum manga Full Metal Alchemist], or the theory ‘that s used to describe how polar or seemingly contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other in turn’[Source- Wikipedia]. Light and Darkness, Male and Female, Sky and Earth, Hot and Cold, and so on. Same is the case for pleasure and pain. So instead of accepting one and disowning the other, we should learn to endure both.

Thanks for reading folks. Have a nice day.


Nalini Hebbar said...

one tends to hear only the nice things that happen from people...most losses and sorrows are well hidden unless you probe deep!

Anonymous said...

That famous sports person was Lance Armstrong who came back strongly after battling cancer.

Great post. Thanks.

Satwinder Singh said...

@Nalini: Yes, thats absolutely correct maam. :)


Actually that wasnt Lance Armstrong. I forgot the name of the athlete.

Thanks a lot for the compliment. :)

Ingmar said...

Nice post!! hey wat u r gonna say for the atheist(s) ? :P

Satwinder Singh said...

@Ingmar: Hehe, well said. Well, they can blame everyone and anyone apart from God and themselves.. :P

Post a Comment