Done and Dusted With

I will try to make this my final post about my MBA life. The reason for that is that I want to get it done and dusted with. There were lots of ups and downs and lot of things which I would prefer to forget, and move on. In this post, I will try to give a brief summary of what I feel my MBA life was like.

To be frank, on hindsight, I feel that there were several things which I could have done, but did not. For example, being more pro-active in competitions. Not for the prize money, but for the experience. I did participate in quite a few, but I admit I never gave it my all. I never stayed awake till the wee hours of the night trying to solve a business case. Maybe out of laziness, or maybe because I just didn’t want to. And to give a brief comparison, I know quite a few of my batchmates who stayed awake nights to work on their presentations/excel sheets.

My other regret is that I didn’t network much. With corporates or people in other bschools. I haven’t even been to any IIM so far[Not even C, which is close to my hometown]. Again, maybe it was my lack of interest, or my lethargy.

My third major regret is that I didn’t involve myself into academics either. I didn’t do a single live project (almost every single batchmate of mine has done at least one), didn’t try to publish any paper, didn’t do any research, checked the central database only twice or so, didn’t read any good book [HR/Marketing], didn’t solve any business case, nor did I try to update myself with the latest business trends. Not to mention, my total apathy at studying for the semester exams[which I started just one week before the actual dates]. Not surprisingly, I ended up amongst the bottom 20 of the batch[amongst a batch size of 220 students].

I even flunked in a few Finance papers. This was one area where I could not force myself to study, even to pass. I disliked most of the theory classes, and did not take any initiatives to do something which could add value to my curriculum vitae. I even took my final project lightly.

But the worst part is that I failed to make friends[barring a handful]. Its not that I did not get along well with others. Its just that I never felt like trying to extend a hand of friendship or support. I never belonged to any group in college. Most of the time I was alone. I hated it, but made no attempts to change it.

Extra-curriculars went for a toss. I would just spend my free time watching anime/movies or lazing around at coffee shops. I don’t remember having done a single meaningful conversation with anyone on the topic of MBA/business.

Was everything so bad and negative about my MBA life? Of course not. There were some good moments too. But those were far and few in between. You may say that I am being pessimistic but I really do not have any ‘Ahaa’ moments to share from my MBA life. I did have a few crushes, but then again I failed to take any step in that regard. I honestly do not know what value add an MBA degree has done to me. How different am I now from the person I was before stepping into a bschool?

There were so many moments when I promised to myself that I would do meaningful things- Master MS Excel/Powerpoint, Learn Japanese, Buy a telescope, join an Astronomy club, go for sight-seeing in different cities in the north[I couldn’t even visit Agra, forget other cities], make friends and go out to have fun, network with other DU students, participate in various events, and I could go on and on. The list of things I planned to do, and failed to execute. And failed to learn from my mistakes. After that I just lost my inspiration to do anything.

Of course, I would prefer to leave the negativity behind me, now that I have entered corporate. I wish I could find myself a permanent source of inspiration. But right now, am in a much better state of mind than I was during MBA. I can actually afford to relax after a hard days work. And that constant nagging at the back of my mind is gone. But somewhere, something is still missing. And I still keep procrastinating on certain issues. I have to learn to back my plans with proper actions, else they will be redundant. And I have to learn to step out of my comfort zone, another thing I am not really good at.

Lets have hope. It’s a good thing to have really. That, and some decent PS-3 games. I have purchased GTA-5, and Batman Arkham Origins releases soon. So much for distractions.