Tuesday, June 25, 2013

R.I.P. English

Often, I retrospect about my school and college days, and quite often than not, my thoughts wander to my teachers. I have had the privilege of studying under some teachers with an outstanding prowess in the English language [NOTE- SARCASM]. Before you start judging me, I would like to say that I have nothing personal against these personalities. But I would just like to share a few quotes/statements which have made them popular. Of course, I shall not be taking their original names. Also, I have NOT exaggerated the following quotes in any way. My classmates will testify for that.

Let us refer to them as T1,T2 and T3[There would be many more, but then I cannot let this post run forever].

T1= Maths Teacher, T2= Physics teacher[Nickname- Apple], T3= Electronics Teacher [Nickname- Spoken English]

T1: ‘Hey, Quiet All are. The Principal has just passed away.’ [When the principal walked by the classroom]

T1: ‘Now, integral calculus solves you all are. This formula remembers you. Exam very important formula is.’

T1: ‘You middle boy last bench all are. Stand up and go into the blackboard. The sum solves you.’

T1: ‘Open the window. Let the air force/atmosphere come in.’ [Okay, this one is common, I agree]

T1: ‘Come meet me underground in the break time when I am empty.’ [Interpretation: Meet me on the ground floor, during break when I am free]

T1:’ When I talk, you talk, no middle talk.’

T2: ‘Today I will explain laws of moshain [motion]. The apple falling head, Newton falling, gravity, to and fro moshain, which is loose moshain.’

T2: ‘Arrey hum tumko aisa marega ki tumhara laal gaal ko maar ke safed kar dega.’ [Translation- I will slap you so hard that your red cheek will turn white, (whatever that meant)]

T2: ‘The atoms moving zig-zag on floor is Simple Harmonic Moshain(motion)’

A female student asks T3 for permission to go to the washroom. His reply: ‘Okay, lets go.’

T3: ‘No AC will go where DC will go. You no go where AC will go. Your ghar will have AC. You don’t know where is AC.’ (Note- AC stands for Alternating Current, DC for Direct Current).

Unfortunately I have forgotten about T3's epic comments, especially during our practical sessions in Electronics. Some of his statements used to make us ROFL, literally.

If there is one serious regret which I have in my life, it’s the fact that throughout my education life(which recently ended), there are just a handful of teachers I have known whom I consider to be good. And just to clarify, its not just because they were not proficient in English. Even otherwise, I can barely remember a time or situation when I looked forward to attending a class.
And this, in spite of me getting an above average education. I can only imagine the quality of education in majority of the schools and colleges in India. Isn’t there anything which we can do to improve the standard of education in this country? Forget the Government, it obviously doesn’t care. Its time for the private sector and NGO’s to step up.


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