The Big Fat(Rather Obese) Indian Wedding.

Warning: It is plausible that certain individuals may not like the comments I will make in this article, which deals with marriage. If you are a conservative person who considers marriage very sacred, then it is advised that you do not go through this article.

I would like to start off by saying that whatever I am writing in this article is my personal view, and not a general opinion of people.

Marriages are made in heaven. Would you agree? Heaven or hell, does it make a difference? In all possibility the environment post marriage will resemble both heavenly and hell-like situations. So what is the purpose of marriage? Is it to unite two souls(don’t take me too literally) so that they can live together for the rest of their life? So that they can raise children and live a happy life? So that they can create a bond of love and compassion? Or is it simply to fulfill their parents and society’s wishes?

First of all, psychologically every human being needs a partner to lead a happy and satisfactory life. This is also to satisfy their mental and physical desires. The concept of marriage was started thousands of years ago, and it gained prominence in India, more than in any other country. Marriage is still considered a sacred ritual of ever lasting commitment. People spend lavishly and exorbitantly during marriages. They invite all their relatives and friends, and celebrate the event quite pompously. But over the years, the original purpose of marriage is dwindling and losing its effect. Rarely do people marry for love or satisfaction. In fact love marriages are still frowned upon by many.




A father will consider his duty to get his son or daughter married, preferably in a well to do family. But is he really doing so for the child’s welfare? Not always. In many cases the child is married off forcibly, someplace which makes him/her uncomfortable. No wonder 1 out of every 5 marriage ends up in a divorce. Plus as per the orthodox customs related to marriage, the religion, caste, etc is checked and matched before the wedding date is decided. I do not believe in astrology, and I don’t understand why religion and caste should matter in marriage. Obviously, if a Muslim girl cannot adjust with a Hindu boy, that’s understandable. But that’s rarely the case, and it is seen that most Indians prefer to marry within their own community [same religion, caste, status, etc]. If two persons can remain happy, staying with one another, religion should not act as an impediment.

Next, we come to the opulent spending during marriages. The event is un-necessarily given too much importance, wasting excessive time in celebrations. We like to disrupt the entire traffic to make way for our marriage procession, including the boisterous band-wallahs. Then of course comes the actual wedding party. Nobody is really interested in either the bride or groom [Though of course they love to criticize their physical features- ‘Look, he is so short and fat. She has a bent nose and dark complexion’] but they scamper to the food stalls as soon as they set their eyes upon them. In earlier times, the dinner consisted of simple, typical Indian food. Nowadays, you can choose amongst Indian, Chinese, European cuisine along with a host of items from Veg to Non-Veg. You can stuff yourself as much as you want, though you should make an appointment with your doctor previously. There are many people who simply go to the parties for the food, and nothing else. And with so many people turning up[a single family can have over 500 relatives from across the globe], nobody gives a damn about anyone or what is actually happening. The poor groom and his bride have to sit in one position and endure the entire travesty that’s going on.

Why do we need so many customs and rituals for a simple process? Why can’t two individuals take vows in silence and then live together in peace? In such a scenario, court marriages serve a better purpose.

As I have said before, I myself do not believe in marriage. I also don’t think I can spend my entire life with one person. And I find nothing wrong with people living together without marrying. If they love each other, what’s the harm? In India, people consider having children without marriage to be a blasphemous and an iniquitous act. Whereas it is a normal practice in the US. Thus marriage becomes a pre-requisite for having children, which is another reason why it is considered to be so important here. Anybody who dares to raise his/her voice by protesting against marriage is often ostracized or even made an outcast. And we have heard of so many crimes[Like murder of the groom] resulting due to marriages which take place between members of two different religions, castes, or even separate villages.

My ideal scenario would be- If two persons like each other, they can stay with each other, love each other, and sleep with each other, without any external interference whatsoever. Whether they want to marry or not, should be left to them, and not their parents or relatives or society members or anyone else. Maybe then, the soaring divorce cases and marriage related crimes will reduce.