Intolerance Dignified

So maybe, while I was watching Rang Rasiya, the thought came up to me- Why is it that so many people are intolerant about a host of various issues? Nudity, kissing in public, making diagrams of Goddesses, sex, religion, expressing opinion in public, writing something apolitical on social media, and the like.

Are we really such big hypocrites? Or, in todays India, we are witnessing a clash of the rigid patriarchal system, with the liberalism school of thought. In any case, there will always be a sect of people who will oppose anything which is against their ideals, and resort to all sort of vandalism for it.

Honestly speaking, a little bit of individualism can go a long way to promote our well being. Live and let live.

Of Samurai, Swords and More

Of late, I have been thinking of a topic to write upon. So let me combine some of my interests into this blog post: anime, swordfighting, ninjas/samurais.
I admit, I have been fascinated by samurais and ninjas ever since I was a child. I think that was the beginning of my passion for anything Japanese. It started off with watching the martial arts movies, and also the fictional accounts of Ninjas and Samurais. [Just for the record, do watch the classic masterpiece Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa if you haven’t already]. Of course, video games like Ninja Gaiden and Double Dragon added to the spirit.

So in this post, I shall be listing down some of the famous fictional swordsmen who have actually inspired me a lot.

1) Roronoa Zoro:

Arguably, one of the most loved anime characters in the entire history of anime, and also one of the most popular swordsman, Zoro is a class in himself. Originally a bounty hunter, he became a pirate under Luffy, with the sole aim of becoming the strongest swordsman in the world. Zoro has an incredible level of stamina, and is able to withstand the strongest of attacks, even though it might leave him in an exasperated state. Without having any special powers, Zoro relies on training the old fashioned way, using three swords to cut anything he wishes too. Zoro indeed stands for a ‘Never say Die’ Attitude.

2) Himura Kenshin:

Also called the Hito-kiri no Battosai, or Samurai X, Kenshin is said to be one of the best swordsmen of his generation. Labelled as the most feared manslayer during the times of war, Kenshin later adopts a more peaceful approach, and promises never to kill again. Of course in the anime, he seems to have several superhuman moves, using the Hiten Mitsurugi style of swordfighting. Kenshin is indeed the legendary samurai.
A similar character is Jin, from Samurai Champloo. Am not mentioning his name separately, but he too is a good swordsfighter.

3) Kuchiki Byakuya:

Although, technically speaking, he is not really a swordsman, but definitely depicts a samurai of the older Japanese times. I have written about him earlier, so will not repeat it again.

4) Raiden, from the Metal Gear Series:

Raiden is a very popular video gaming character, who is half human and half cyborg, fighting against the forces of evil, in the immensely popular Metal Gear Series. In fact, he is the major character in 2 of the games. Though his real swordfighting skills are involved in Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance.

5) Ryu Hayabusa from the Ninja Gaiden Series:

Ryu is the typical epitome of the Mystical Japanese Ninjas. The series combines swordfighting with magic, and other supernatural elements, but Ryu is arguably one of the best Ninjutsu users of his times.


Of course, there are other famous characters too, but am limiting to these five as of now. Keep tuned to more stuff in future.

A Little Pinch of Salt..

Okay, I know I haven’t blogged for a really long time now, and my blogging is reduced to a mere post a month. Maybe I just don’t like blogging nowadays. Cant think of a better reason. I know compared to the views and hits I used to get earlier, just a handful of people actually bother to read my blog posts as of now.

And maybe I don’t really have any concrete stuff to write either. Office life is going on as usual, with its shares of ups and downs. Still have to learn a few things, especially the art of prioritizing and managing time.

The good part is that, I am learning to keep myself involved. I have finally(partly thanks to Subodh for this) joined a gym, and will hopefully maintain the consistency to become fit. I have also joined Japanese classes, and my passion to learn Japanese will hopefully now help me learn this beautiful yet complex language.

Next stop is to start a particular sport. I hope this planned change in my life will bring in further benefits. Both professionally and personally. But I can finally say that I am indeed living life. Depression and frustration stay away.

Reading continues as usual. Occasional video gaming and tv watching too[which is time waste]. Sometimes, try my hand at cooking some basic stuff. Made anda bhurji for the first time, and liked it. I think now I do need to socialize a bit more. Maybe I will do the one thing i really hate, and go to some club, just once. Havent been to one for a long time.

Personal Stuff..Again!

To be honest, I admit I have been writing much less than I used to. Perhaps because I am now immersed in full time work, honeymoon period being over. Or because somehow I don’t really get the inspiration to write nowadays. The once a dream of becoming a writer has also slowly faded away with time, bringing way to new priorities and opportunities. That being said, I do want to publish at least one book in my lifetime. You never know what surprises life brings next.

I think I did some introspection and analysed a few of my weaknesses. Things which I need to improve. Somehow I feel that I can be more social, and take part in different activities outside of work. I have to prioritize and set things right. Sitting at home and doing nothing, will end up in disaster.

Right now, after being in Mumbai for over a year, I still have not made any major contacts outside of my company, and beyond my MBA batchmates. This definitely leaves scope for lot of improvement. Moreover, I have to look at my health, and fitness, which definitely needs lot of push ups(pun intended).

Somehow I have always wanted to travel to different places, but lacked the guts to do so. Now I am making it a point to visit at least two new places(namely cities) each year. Done with Bangalore for this year, looking at Hyderabad next.

Learning to manage finances and savings/investments is the next major challenge. This step, however is going to help me for the rest of my life, so is without a doubt, extremely important. And again, I want to pursue my interest in Astronomy too. So many things to do, so little time. Life is about priorities.

Quite a few people comment that I have become ‘settled’ in Mumbai now, with a decent job, all facilities, and the only thing left to do is to get a life. Short minded thinking notwithstanding, why do people believe marriage is like an ultimate goal in life? Now, with that being said, I do admit that I kind of regret the fact that I have never been in a relationship. Positive or negative, there are things you learn which you cannot if you have been single all your life.

There may not be any ultimate purpose of living, but if you are living, you better make every second count.

Recently completed the Truth about the Harry Quebert Affair. An interesting fiction book, which I would recommend. In gaming, I am occupied with Tomb Raide (2013), which is definitely a pretty good game. Looking forward to MGS V.

Thinking about picking up a Real sport now for a change.

Too many plans, and none executed. I think for a change, I need to focus less on planning, and more on doing the Execution part. This has been another weakness. Too many ideas and plans killed in the initial stage itself, mostly due to laziness than anything else.

See you all later. Till then, enjoy your lives to the fullest.

My First Designation

I write this post after completing 13 months in BASF, my first job. It has really been a roller coaster ride so far, and I hope I am a better person than I was an year ago. Both professionally and personally.

Tonight, I returned home at 9:30 pm, due to some last minute extra work. But I am still feeling happy. Amidst the heavy pouring rain, life goes on as normal in Mumbai. I got two more books today, and as ever my list is increasing like never before. Though of course, I moved into a new place, so still taking time settling down. The experience in the Dahej plant was pretty good, but as of now, am really glad to be back in Mumbai, the city of dreams.

We had a mini celebration in office as well, and of course got the confirmation certificate post completion of my yearlong training. Now I am officially an Assistant Manager in Human Resources, at age 25(one of the youngest in the company), and definitely looking forward to my new role. Working in a team, and dealing with policies which impact the welfare of all employees, is something which really gives you a kick from inside. Recently a senior colleague who met me, told me that I should be in Marketing, considering I am from FMS (known as one of the best bschools to pursue a career in marketing). However, I am quite sure that HR is my calling. Even in my batch, people remember me as ‘THE’ HR guy. But, its only now that I feel I am making a very tiny dent in the big ocean which is HR. But definitely a good start. And I am thankful to BASF, and my remarkable colleagues for giving me this opportunity.

I just saw the latest episode of Naruto, and even though the story may be too stretched or illogical, it still inspires me to do my best. Especially considering the spirit of Itachi Uchiha is still remembered and elaborated. He will definitely be the most inspiring fictional character for me till the end.
But I seriously do need to take a vacation to a proper place. Plans still pending.

But I am happy that I face very few periods of depression/frustration nowadays.

Glad to be of Use

Am finally back to my reading habit. Finished the Biography of Narendra Modi, and also The Maruti Story. Still have 4 books lined up in the queue.
Purchased Tomb Raider (2013). Going through a tumultuous current phase, with lot of expectations and plans. Lets see how it all turns out.
But no matter what, 2014 is going to be a significant year for my life.

What makes me Happy?

What can make you happy? Well, you will have to answer that yourself. But happiness is a state of the mind. Only you decide when you want to be happy.
Here are some of the things which make me happy: (the list is by no means Exhaustive):

1) Reading a good book
2) Having Choco Frappe at CCD, along with a friend
3) Whatsapping someone I like
4) Playing a good Video Game on my PS3
5) Watching a thriller or suspense movie
6) Reading good articles on a Blog
7) Seeing Superheroes battle to save the world from evil
8) Going out for an Evening walk (alone)
9) Talking to people I care about
10) Solving a tricky puzzle
11) Doing a good task in Office
12) Interacting with people
13) Eating my favourite dishes (usually Dosa or Idli)
14) Exercising
15) Visiting a Good book store
16) Observing other people
17) A visit to a Hill station
18) Writing Blog Posts
19) Playing a Game
20) Having a cool and refreshing drink in summer
21) Sleeping with a blanket in the chilly winter
22) Watching anime
23) Reading Manga
24) Sleeping
25) Motivating others

So you don’t need to be a genius in order to be happy. Live every moment to the fullest. This is your life, make the best out of it.

Calling All MCPs

Earlier, I had ranted against male chauvinism in one of my previous posts. I will continue the same topic here.

Why is it that, in spite of the several atrocities committed against females, we still continue to give them advice on what to wear, where to go, where not to go, who to bring along, be careful while drinking at parties, avoid certain areas, don’t talk to strangers, basically curtail every form of individual freedom. This is the effect of the patriarchal society we live in. We still blame the girl for whatever happened.

So, in this post, I will rather give certain pointers to all those males who consider themselves superior to women, and keep giving them special advice[Sample-‘Avoid wearing short clothes. Don’t hold hands with guys in public. Avoid wearing jeans. Don’t put make up. Don’t carry mobile phones. Don’t go to pubs. Don’t step out of your house post 8 pm. Don’t have sex before marriage else you will be punished(or worse, hanged). Don’t make eye contact with people who eve-tease you. And so on]

To All MCP’s:

1) Don’t keep staring at girls. It makes them highly uncomfortable, and is considered an offensive behaviour. No matter how pretty that girl may be.

2) Most girls will NOT dress to impress guys. They dress the way they want because it makes them feel good about themselves. Just because she is wearing shorts does not mean she wants you to admire her body. It does not give you any license to comment or leer. And it certainly does NOT mean that she is a girl with low morals.

3) Trying to touch a girl without her permission, especially in a crowded place like a bus, is a criminal offence, a highly derogatory act and can even land you in prison. Do NOT try it unless you want to waste away your life. Maintain a safe distance.

4) Same goes for making any sort of insulting comments, whistling, ogling, at girls when they pass by. You will definitely not understand the trauma which a girl has to go through every single day, passing dozens of such guys.

5) Avoid making negative comments even if the girl cannot hear you. Several times I have noticed guys talking about certain girls in their own groups, and most of the time it’s about her body(in a derogatory sense of course). Learn to respect women as your equals, as your fellow human beings. They are NOT objects of desire for you to play with.

6) Just because a girl drinks, has male friends who she hangs out with, goes to pubs and parties, does NOT make her a person with no morals, or in extreme words, a ‘whore’. And it also does NOT mean she is inviting you to bed her. Learn to respect her boundaries, without objecting to her personal choices.

7) Flirting, although not really a crime, should be avoided if the girl is feeling uncomfortable. Learn to respect her privacy and treat her just like you would want yourself to be treated. If you really like a girl, just tell her directly, instead of trying to stalk her or threaten her.

8) Do NOT share any form of adult jokes or pictures/content with a girl, unless you are absolutely sure she will not object to it. This can otherwise lead to sexual harassment.

9) If a girl says NO, she means NO, not Yes. She is NEVER asking for it. If you still insist, it is you who is in the wrong.

10) It is not unnatural to be sexually attracted to a woman. Nevertheless, you are a homo sapien and you have the ability to make intelligent choices, including the power of restraint. Your conscience will tell you what the right thing to do is.

11) Learn to accept rejection. Becoming frustrated and trying to take revenge on a girl just because she rejected you, is a highly offensive act, a misplaced display of your male ego. It will only lead you to trouble. Not to mention the immorality behind it.

12) Lastly, NEVER blame a girl, if she has been an unfortunate victim of an incident. She is already going through hell, and the last thing she wants is to be told that she deserved it. Rather, try to catch the REAL criminal behind the act.

We have to inculcate a culture of gender sensitivity into our children, so that they grow up to be responsible adults. Healthy interaction between boys and girls from an early age is essential. So is sex education in schools. Boys have to learn not to treat girls as objects, but as human beings. Girls are not meant to be dominated or forced into submission. They are meant to be empowered and encouraged to lead an independent life of their own.

The Stalker (Short Story)

He wasn’t really a bad guy, to be honest. I mean, I did consider him to be a friend at one point of time. Or at least an acquaintance. But how was I to know what he would actually turn out to be? And no, contrary to what he or his friends claim, it was not my fault.

For convenience’s sake, I shall refer to him as Rohit. I first met him at a party, where a mutual friend introduced us. Of course I didn’t really pay any attention to him at first, just a casual ‘Hello’, and some small-talk and all. I am a person who takes time to open up, and am a bit selective when it comes to making friends. But from a first impression wise, he seemed pretty normal. Probably around the same age as me, working as an Assistant Manager in some FMCG company. He claimed he was from a ‘top’ Bschool in India, was above average in looks, not that attractive, but was good at communicating. That day went without anything significant happening. He wanted to know my drinking habits, I somehow evaded the question.

I met him next at another friends Birthday party. We chatted for a while, and he was actually good at making conversation with others. He had this pleasant smile about him which made you feel that this guy could put you at ease. And he had a very nice sense of humor. I guess I was opening up a bit to him. Note, however, that I had no feelings of infatuation or whatsoever for him. At that moment, I just considered him to be another known face in the crowd.
He talked about stuff relating to Politics, Sports, and even the art of shopping, what types of guys girls like and all that. He claimed to understand the psychology of women very well. ‘Why are you still single then,’ asked someone from the crowd? ‘Because I haven’t yet met a girl who complements my personality type- ENFJ.’ ‘What’s ENFJ,’ I asked. And he went on to describe the Myer-Briggs personality test. I had to admit, I was a bit impressed by his knowledge. Or maybe just the way he talked about things.

Soon, we were having a common friend’s circle. Occasionally I saw him in some mall, or at some public venue. Slowly, and gradually, I started considering him as a friend. He was pretty nice to me till then, and I did enjoy speaking to him. Besides, he definitely seemed to be from a decent background, and had good manners(to my limited knowledge). He was well read, and decently fit physically.

Eventually I gave him my number, and accepted his friend request on facebook. There was nothing odd at first. He used to ping me on Whatsapp, now and then, and would like my pictures or statuses on facebook. There was nothing which I could label as suspicious, or weird or irritating. We used to meet in person around once a week or sometimes in a fortnight, in all occasions accompanied by at least one more mutual friend. He did not do anything which could give me a hint if he wanted to impress me or anything like that. He did ask me what my relationship status was and I told him the truth(I was single that time). There was no reason for me to say otherwise. I was beginning to trust him.

But before long, I found his behaviour to be getting a bit odd. He would get kind of irritated if I didn’t reply to his messages instantly, or didn’t pick up his phone calls. His frequency of messages had also increased significantly, and he would keep sending me pictures/jokes and other stuff. Soon enough, he started complimenting me on my looks, my fashion sense, and style of conversing with people. He told me that I was pretty intelligent compared to lot of other girls out there. I admit I did feel good inside on being complimented. Now I was not one of those drop-dead-gorgeous females who get 500 likes even if they upload a picture of their foot-nail or something. But somewhere, I started feeling that he was over-doing it. However, I didn’t tell him anything at that point of time. At hindsight maybe I should have.

One day he got angry, because I had not wished him goodnight the previous day. I found this slightly amusing, as I was not obligated to wish him. But it was just a matter of courtesy. And he kept dropping hints that we should meet more often, party more, and have fun types. I told him the truth-that I was running a bit short of money, and expenses were increasing. I just could not afford to eat or drink out every other day. Even once a week was getting unmanageable. He thought I was just making an excuse. He even offered to pay for my drinks and food, at times, to which I candidly refused.

Then one fine day, he bought me a bag. A rather fashionable, expensive one. I was shocked, to say the least. I told him, quite straightforwardly that I cannot accept it, and that he should not do such stupid acts. He felt quite taken aback, and perhaps felt hurt and annoyed at the same time. Nevertheless, he apologised later, and admitted that it was an immature gesture. I pardoned him and moved on. He used to message me, even while I was at work, and sometimes would call as well. I tried to patiently explain to him, that it was not possible to reply to every message or call of his during work. But it hardly made much of an impact. He also started commenting on each of my pictures, calling me stunningly beautiful, hot, amazing and all that.

Few of my close friends and I were planning for watching a movie. I told Rohit that I was going for a movie, and that I would not be replying to his messages for some time. He immediately said that he wanted to come as well. I was suddenly in a dilemma. I didn’t want to say No to his face, but our plan was already made. But he refused to listen, and imagine my horror when I came to know that he came to my place(a rented apartment I was sharing with 2 other girls), on his bike and offered to pick me up. Honestly, I should have made him go back. I really don’t know what made me accept his offer. Maybe at that time, I was still considering him to be a friend. And he was somehow very persistent that he sit beside me for the movie.

Later, I heard from some mutual friends that Rohit was boasting about the fact that we were both very close, and we would go out together often on his bike and all. I still dismissed this fact as a rumor, though somehow I suspected it might have been true. I did go with him on his bike a few more times, but I never officially dated him. I felt that he was getting too possessive about me. ‘Whats the need to go out with that guy? He’s a total drunk asshole, and he will try to take advantage of you in a party,’ Rohit tried to warn me. ‘Why do you have to speak to him on the phone for so long? Its just a waste.’ It was almost as if, indirectly he was trying to influence me to do what he wanted me to do.

I was gradually getting tired and irritated of Rohit’s behaviour. It was almost as if he was dictating my life’s terms to me. I wouldn’t even expect that of my boyfriend, and Rohit was surely no close friend of mine. I thought it was about time I talked to him about this. To my surprise, he was more than ready to talk. He invited me over to a local pub cum restaurant. When I reached there, he was already drinking(and he appeared to be slightly high already). I told him that perhaps this was not the best time to have a serious discussion. But he motioned me to sit and continue. However I felt that this conversation was going nowhere and Rohit just wasn’t paying any attention to it. Rather, he started flirting again. Openly! Maybe it was the alcohol in him speaking, or otherwise, I would not know. He told me how beautiful he was, what a great figure I had, and all that. I was feeling humiliated and embarrassed. I told him to stop. But he carried on. ‘You know what, beautiful. Maybe we could continue this conversation at my place. There’s nobody else at home. We could have some fun too. Are you a virgin?’

That was the last straw. I just stormed out of the place in anger, not even bothering to look back. This guy had lost it. I just went back home and slept. Imagine the shock I got when I woke up, to look at my phone and see 27 missed calls, and over 50 messages. The guy was a maniac, not just a loser. Throughout the day, he kept calling and messaging, but I did not reply. Eventually I switched off my phone, and went to stay over at another friends place(Afraid that he would come at my house). I was finding it extremely hard to believe that this was the same guy who I had assumed was my friend. How could he stoop to such a level? I blocked all of his accounts.

Soon I started getting threatening messages. ‘How dare you not reply to me, bitch. How dare you block me, you slut?’ Though they were from different ids, I had a feeling who they might have belonged to. And at other times, I would get direct messages from him-‘Hi. Please forgive me. I was totally drunk that day. Give me another chance, please.’ And all that stuff.

Finally, after almost a month or so, I had the courage to actually meet him. He was apologetic, and swore that he was extremely sorry. He begged for my forgiveness. And, he started professing his love for me. Told me that he couldn’t live without me and all that crap. I felt I had had enough of it. I just slapped him hard, across the cheek, and started moving away. Yes, in front of everyone, in the middle of the day. I was half expecting him to run after me. But he was just too dazed to move, and stood frozen in shock. I ran away from that place as quickly as could.

After that day, I never heard from Rohit again. Last I heard, he had taken a transfer to another city. Good for him. Do I still bear a grudge against him? No. Have I forgiven him? No. Will I think twice before making a new male friend from now on? Hell yeah.

Just because I am single does not mean I am dying to sleep with every second man who comes along and speaks to me. A No means a No. Learning to deal with rejection and your Ego will help you go a long way. You can never force someone to be in love with you.

And then they say- ‘Indian girls have an attitude problem.’

Deep Blues and Outwater

I am at home. Had a minor operation. Recovering now. Not sure when I will rejoin work. Bored. Quarter life Crisis. Enough Said.

Short Trip to Mumbai

Finally visited Mumbai after a gap of over a month. I have fallen in love with that city. To be honest, it is a bit of a difficult experience staying all alone, cut off from your friends and family. Yes, you do get used to it after a while, but somehow that feeling of being alone, sticks. Add to that the near absence of any hang out spots, or even proper restaurants nearby, and you get an ideal recipe for depression.

Nevertheless, this has been an experience of its own, and for the next few months will continue to be so. So it was a welcome relief to be back in Mumbai for the weekend. And luckily managed to meet quite a few friends, including Girish and Amitabha.

Yes, I finally managed to bring some of my books here. I was dying without them. And somehow, am trying to put a structure to things, and make the best of my time here. Both professionally and personally. So lot of things to do.

Though right now, I feel the charm of PS3 is fading away. I hope Metal Gear Solid 5 changes that. But the best part of being in Mumbai was to just enjoy the crowd and the food. Yes, you heard it right. I so missed the food. It is so hard getting south indian food here. Or good quality chaat. So I ate my way to glory.
Managed to catch a bad cold as well. And colds in summer are actually quite unpleasant. Oh well, I had enough of complaining. So could use this post in thanking those people who matter.

Of course, Amitabha and Girish needn’t be thanked. For we will keep bumping into each other without reason. But I would like to thank my Grow batchmates and BASF colleagues cum friends Anupama, Subodh and Shapnaa for sparing time. It is always fun hanging out with you guys. Anupama, I know you are gonna do a great job in your stint. Subodh, thanks a ton for the bike ride, in the peak summer heat. But Veg hut remains. Shapnaa, I know you love to talk, and you are pretty good at that and everything else. Keep rocking. Waseem was missed, but there is always a next time. And Swati, you better think of something fast. Everyone’s missing you as well.

Managed to catch up with Queen. A pretty good movie, but highly overhyped. Anyways, catch you all later. Adios.

Random..Again

Things I randomly think about:

1) The size of the known universe
2) Antimatter and dark matter/Negative energy
3) Extra-terrestrial life
4) Love. Duh!
5) What booze tastes like
6) Why do people dope
7) How does it feel to actually achieve Self Actualization
8) Will life’s rat race ever end?
9) Is money really that important?
10) Is having a partner that important?
11) The concept of phosphine(google it)
12) Is whatsapp and facebook an addiction?
13) Why is virginity over-rated?
14) Can Bollywood actually produce decent movies?
15) Higher end philosophical stuff
16) People who no longer matter
17) Meaning and Purpose of life
18) Futility of writing this post

Forgotten the Pursuit of Happiness?

Happiness comes to those who ask for it. Or those who deserve it. Is that really true? What does it take for a person to be really happy? Is it having friends and family around you? As a collectivist society such as India would believe. Or is it the determination and ambition to pursue your goals and dreams, and the feeling you get during the process is a combination of happiness and other emotions.

Does money lead to happiness? There is still sufficient doubt for this statement, but obviously those who do not even have sufficient money to eat three meals a day would probably be more unhappy than happy. Nevertheless there are lot of rich and unhappy guys out there too. Man’s demands are endless. We will continue to desire, and the vast majority of us will be stuck somewhere in the 2nd or 3rd layer of Maslow’s Pyramid.

But assuming that we are earning decently for a living, and yet we would like to do something which would make us happy. What should that something be? Obviously it would be different for each individual. A guitarist can be happy just playing on his guitar for hours. A tennis player will be happy if he manages to outlast a tough opponent. A Sales guy would be happy if he or she manages to reach the targets within time. A mother can be happy just feeding her child. A beggar might feel happy counting the stars in the night sky.

So where does motivation come in? And how difficult is it to stay self motivated all the time? Pretty difficult, especially if you are caught in a work environment you do not like. And this is true not just of corporate professionals but any human being. You can be a peon, but you can be the best in what you do. That is what most of us aspire to become. Better individuals, better earners and better contributors to the society, and hence, ourselves.

But why is it that most of us complain at some time or the other, of being frustrated, bored, depressed, sad, lonely, clueless, stuck in time, stagnated, angry, and a million other negative emotions. The biggest negative emotions arrive, when we feel the feeling of despair and helplessness. As Daniel Goleman explains in his book, Emotional Intelligence, it’s the frustration which builds up and causes worry, when a person is unable to resolve his problem or decide a particular course of action, which inevitably leads to a feeling of helplessness. This cycle continues, and in the long term can also result in bodily harm, plus in extreme cases, a mental breakdown.

Ideally, in order to be happy and possess a high EQ, we should learn to empathize with others. Which is much more easier said than done. Most of us are so caught up in our day to day activities, that just spending a few minutes doing something extra seems like a waste of time. The easiest thing to do in the world is blame someone else for the troubles you are in. The hardest thing to do, is to supress your ego and put yourself in that person’s shoes to understand the other point of view.

The first step in conquering negative emotions is ‘Awareness’. People with a better EQ, usually are able to identify when they are experiencing negative emotions. As a result, they are better equipped to identify the problem, and hence prevent a negative situation from escalating. Contrary to popular belief, raising your voice, venting out your anger does not make you feel better. It makes you feel worse. But we do not realize it, simply because of the activated hormones, which give us a feeling similar to adrenaline. So basically, we think that we are feeling better, but actually its detrimental(similar to drugs or alcohol).

Most of us like to stick to the area of our comfort zone. But going outside it, and experiencing new things(including failure), will actually lead us one step closer towards Self Actualization. So will restraint. By restraint, I mean stopping yourself from giving in to temptation. Whether it be of a particular junk food, or alcohol, or even for purchasing an expensive item which will probably of no use later. Practicing restraint is a very important tool for achieving happiness.

Of course, many people will want to know the co-relation between love and happiness. That I will leave for another post. Not that I am an expert on that issue, but as always I can provide my personal views on the same. But the picture put in this post basically says it all-'You are responsible for your own happiness.' Nobody else is going to come and make you happy. Deal with it. That does not mean you cut yourself out from everyone. It just means that you have to figure out where the problem(if any) lies.

Finally, after a while, I feel I have written a slightly better post(most of my recent posts were minor ‘About-Me-Written-In-A-Poor-Style’ sort of entries). This one, I took some time to finish. All comments are welcome. Catch you soon.

Onwards

Yesterday I turned 25. Is the number of any significance? I know not. I have been transferred to Gujarat, and it is my first time here. How am I feeling being at a new place, minus friends. Doing okay so far I guess. New people, new places, new work. Change is an indispensable part of life. If we refuse to accept it, we cannot progress. Pain and suffering shall lead to awakening and enlightenment. The more you struggle, the more shall you rise.

The desire to write has long been gone. For what is the world when you are all alone, encompassed by a solitude of sorrow? By why then should you need anyone else, when you have yourself? Why does it matter to you if the person you like is miles away? For you go to your grave isolated by everyone.

What is it that you truly desire? Why do you get out of your bed every day? Is there anything beyond normal conditioning? I dare say not.

But then you are all scared.

Mumbai Life Diaries

This Saturday was one of the better days in my life. It started off with me roaming around in Crossword for a while, figuring out which book to get for one of my bibliophile friend, who was coming to Mumbai for work purposes.

The lady at the payment counter was interested in showing me a new E-reader which was launched at the shop. Was kind of similar to Kindle. I told her that I was not much of a E-reader, and still preferred to read my books the old fashioned way. Yeah, portability and all is all fine, but I like the smell of the pages, and the feel of the book in my hand. No Reader can replace that(yet, anyways).

Oh, and yeah, my membership was still valid(I had registered over 2 years ago, and that too at Durgapur). Got a meagre 7.5% discount, but that’s still better than nothing. Speaking of discounts, Flipkart is now offering a discount of 60% on selected books, including the Luminaries(which I got at 30% discount). Get it while it lasts.

Anyways, coming back to the point, I left for Bandra in the evening. Luckily,got an AC bus which goes from Vashi to Bandra, just in the nick of time. It was empty, save for one couple getting cosy in the corner. Yeah, PDA is pretty much common and accepted in Mumbai(at least in many places). The traffic was still insane though.

I haven’t really roamed around the Bandra side much. And the station was big and over-crowded big time. I had to talk the skywalk towards Bandra east side. After meeting up with my friend(and handing over the gift and yes, got one from her too), we decided to head over to Candies for snacks munching. I settled for a Veg Burger, and a curious looking Chocolate dessert which I had never eaten before in my life(it turned out to be reasonably good). After that, we headed out to the Linking road market, as my friend wanted to check out some Shoe stores.

Post the shopping, we headed out to a CCD. I stuck with my favourite drink, Choco Frappe. She tried the Strawberry Lemonade and hated it. The place was being set up with speakers and mikes put in. Soon, we came to know that Siddharth Malhotra(Student of the Year) and Parineeti Chopra were supposed to come there for a mini interactive session. Soon enough they arrived. I have to admit that I didn’t really look at Siddharth, but Parineeti was really looking pretty(maybe even prettier than she does in the movies).

But we left before they did. Roamed around some more across the streets, did some random chit chat, had maggi, and finally I left for home. Oh, and yeah, I did see a policeman trying to round up the street peddlers with his stick, but they all returned as soon as he left. Was quite a funny scene though.
Yes, am slowly getting used to Mumbai life. The last seven months have been good. And I have to get to second gear fast.

For now, adios.

More Updates

2014 is up and running, and I am glad that I have begun doing two good things.

One is keeping a daily expense tracker in a diary, mentioning where the bucks are flying. Yeah of course, we can do it on a smartphone or on excel, but I prefer the old fashioned way.

Second is to devote 15-20 minutes(minimum) daily on free hand exercising. And yes, am planning on joining a gym later this year.
Currently watching Attack on Titan. It’s a pretty decent anime, according to me. And yes, wishing that Naruto ends fast.

Reading the biography of Narendra Modi. The book seems interesting so far.

Work is going on good and hectic. Nevertheless its fun to have friends at workplace, which makes it enjoyable at the same time.
No new crushes so far. Not that I am expecting to make a girlfriend minus any effort.

A telescope purchase is pending.

And I am finding it increasingly difficult to just sit down and write on serious topics. I will make an effort in future however.
Oh, and yes, I have (almost) given up on junk food. At least chips, chocolates, ice creams and cold drinks are definitely off the radar. And I was never a pizza/burger fan anyways. Will have to reduce the oily stuff too.

But so far so good. Now, I would really like to get rid of my laziness by stepping out of home more. And explore new stuff. Hoping to take a vacation this year, at a decent place.

One area which we cannot afford to ignore is AAP. And yes, Mr. Kejriwal happens to be the cynosure of all eyes. But somehow I feel a bit sceptical. Lets wait and watch. By the way, he had visited FMS last year(to take a session). So have seen him in person.

Rest later.

P.S.- GTA 5 is an amazing game. Period.

P.P.S.- Have been playing Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm 3 online for some time now. And I must say, there are some outstanding players across the globe.

Of Dating, Booze and More!

The first post of the new year. So let me handle two topics which lot of people ask me: i) Boozing, and ii) Dating/Relationships

i) Why am I a teetotaller? That too, being a Sardar.

First of all, there are quite a few other Sardars/Sikhs who do not drink as well. Generalization and stereotyping does not help. Many people ask me why I do not drink. Or party. One guy even asked me this: ‘You do not smoke. You do not drink. How do you enjoy life then?’

To all of them, and anyone who is interested to know: I do not have a logical answer to this. I don’t drink simply because I don’t want to. Disappointed with the answer? Live with it. But, yes there may be a psychological reason, with me considering myself superior or a ‘good’ guy just cause I do not booze. And yes, I do feel uncomfortable when people drink around me. Can’t help it. And watching people knock themselves out/puking, fully drunk, actually makes me feel disgusted to the core.

And I do not party, because I don’t like crowds. Plus I do not drink or dance. No point just standing and staring at the people, is there?

ii) Why do I not have a girlfriend? Why don’t I date anyone?


Again, I do not know. I do NOT have any principle of not dating a girl. I am totally fine with dating or having relationships. It’s just that it hasn’t happened so far. End of story. Yes, maybe I didn’t put in any effort to woo a girl. Maybe girls don’t like to be around me. And of course, going to a bar or pub and trying to buy a girl a drink doesn’t count, when you don’t visit bars. Being from a ‘Boys Only’ school, an Engineer and an MBA from a top bschool does not help when it comes to making female friends, or girlfriends. And being someone who doesn’t like to socialize much will also provide limited opportunities for hanging out with the fairer sex.

Do I care? Maybe, maybe not. It all depends on luck. Konnichiwa 2014.